under the stars

[anatural]

WHO: Korra & Hei
WHAT: Their first night in the Spirit World and their first chance for an actual reunion. (nsfw)

[They trek for hours without saying anything, over terrain that varies with neither rhyme nor reason. Sometimes in a desert, other times in a forest, other times across a plain that seems to stretch for miles until suddenly a mountain appears. Hei doesn't ask why they're going the direction they are, for which Korra is grateful because she doesn't know the answer. She doesn't know anything. They're walking not to get anywhere in particular, but to give Korra a chance to figure out what to do, because she can't think while standing still.

Where would Raava have gone? Is there some way she can communicate with the light spirit? Is there anyone in the Spirit World who doesn't completely despise her?

Evening starts to fall, offering no answers, only a reminder that her body is human and, like it or not, needs rest. Luckily(?) they're in a forest. Plenty of material to make camp with.]

We should stop here for the night. [She has to cough a little mid-sentence; her voice rough from disuse.]

Comments

[anatural]

[...pulling that tone out on her now, rude. It bypasses rational thought and goes straight to her insides. Sense memory is a terrible thing.]

Yeah. [She nods and stands.] We should get going.

[mortemscintilla]

[ A nod in return, his gaze tracking her with a sentinel's focus as she moves. She reminds him of a child, impossibly small and wanting to be smaller. Shrinking with an acid wash of shame and self-doubt. At the same time, so keyed up, so brimful with emotion, she might pop like a bottle of champagne. Of course she can't let any of it out, because it would be too much, too painful. ]

[ Suddenly Hei can't sustain his calculated distance any longer. He rises, and there's a moment's faltering, which registers as no more than a rustle across the trees, before he curves a palm across her nape, his fingers curled around to bunch in the loose hair, resting there like an imperative. The familiar heat of her skin leaps through him in a spark, and suddenly he can't understand why he'd held back all this time. ]

[ Quietly, ]

We'll find Raava. I'm not leaving you until we do.

[anatural]

[Her breath catches in her throat. Not fair. Not. Fair. She just wants to be wrapped up in that warmth and never leave. Not for awhile, at least.]

But after that you will?

[mortemscintilla]

[ She still hasn't forgiven him for that, has she? Another time Hei would meet the suggestion with irritation, dismissal. Because that's not what this is about. Because she's completely missing his point. Instead he exhales, gathering her in close. He's gone from low-key warmth to a broken-open tenderness in a fast zero to sixty; it feels like flu but he knows it isn't. He swallows, a splinter of regret catching in his throat at the idea that even now, she imagines he'll take the easy way out and abandon her. If he were that selfish (or maybe the better word is selfless?) he'd have done it ages back. His right hand strokes the slope of her neck, her spine, and his forehead flirts its long hair millimeters from her warm skin before butting gently into place. ]

After that I'll watch you do what you do best. Pick yourself up out of nowhere. Make your own way. [ His left hand smoothes her hair back from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear as if to make sure there is nothing to muffle the words from her. ] I know nowhere like the back of my hand. And you're not there, Korra. You'll never be. Avatar or no Avatar, you'll be all right.

[anatural]

[Well it's his fault for wording it like the only thing keeping him around is Raava's absence. You disappear for ten months, suddenly reappear, and then talk like that — what else is she supposed to think?

She shivers and winds her arms around him. She wants to believe him so badly.]

I missed you.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei passes his arms around her. It's light at first, before the reality that he's here, holding her, hits him. The embrace tightens, a warm animal clasp bridging the space between their bodies. He might as well be sixteen again, sprawled in the charred grass next to Amber, watching the stars, alert for enemies in the periphery, but also honed in utterly on his desire. He feels desire now, no longer incognito, but faced and named. He doesn't welcome it. It is inappropriate, given the situation, given that Korra is still radiating a high-pitched distress. But against his will, he dips his head, kissing her eyes, her cheeks, before homing in on her mouth. ]

[ The kiss should be heated and intense,like the quality of his muscles and grip and gaze. Instead it's soft, a cadence lacking the thread of urgency -- sweet closemouthed kisses tremoring from his lips before taking wing into something deeper. ]

[ I missed you too. He wants to say it, but at the same time, holding her like this, there's no need to. ]

[anatural]

[Oh. The kiss may start soft, but it doesn't stay that way. Korra grabs his hair and pulls him closer, pressing as hard as she can against him. This is so not the time or the place, and she knows it. Still, she wants him so badly it hurts. He wants her too, which eases an ache inside and fuels her need.

Raava. She stops trying to pull his shirt off before it registers that she had started. You have to find Raava. She pulls away with a gasp.]

We...should go.

[mortemscintilla]

[ The kiss takes a darker shape in thoughtless impulse, and grows stronger as Korra opens her ready mouth. He anchors her close with an arm circled around her, loving the way she clings to him, her little fingers plucking the heavy fabric of his shirt, her warm face upturned and busy. Hei inhales and it's a small bubbling awe that she is right there with those sweet curves smashed up against him, skin smooth against the bristles sanding his chin, her lips light as cream puffs and more soft. ]

[ When she jerks back, he's disoriented. Wants to chase after her, openmouthed and relentless, to fold their bodies across the grass and recapture that sweet familiar friction between them. But -- ]

[ Raava. ]

[ Something shutters and falls closed in Hei's expression. On anyone else, it might look like frustration or disappointment. He won't deny that both are present. But she is right. ]

Yeah.

[ She is close enough that his words buzz softly against her mouth. An inhale, an exhale. Then he edges back, hands dropping from her body. ]

[anatural]

[It takes a lot of effort to step back. She takes a deep breath, willing the tingles to go away. She has control of her body.

She reaches for one of the water bottles.]

Let's go.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei nods tersely. He gathers up the supplies, then retrieves the grenades from their protective ring around camp. They head North, keeping abreast of the stream. As the day wears on, the woods change. Where before everything is a wintry green, shot through with the pink-lemonade shades of sunlight through the leaves, by afternoon it changes to the denser, darker green of pine needles so thick the light cannot penetrate: the sunlight lies on top of the foliage, making it seem as if they are insects picking their way across a saw blade. ]

[ No spirits ambush them. In fact, there seem to be no spirits in the region at all -- and Hei isn't sure if it's a good sign or a bad one. Something almost cricket-like chirps in the green gloom. Through the trees, the sky is bruising towards purple. He's forgotten the way night looms in the forest: more abrupt, unsoftened by headlamps or street lamps. The only light comes from stars that bloom in the velvet sky, sharpening as darkness closes around each shining pinprick. Night in the forest falls like a guillotine blade: quick and sharp, cutting you off from everything. ]

[ A cave lies halfway up an embankment studded with straggly pines. The incline is rinsed with grey stones each the size of a baby's fist. Cautiously, Hei picks one up and tosses it into the cave. It plinks somewhere past the mouth, giving way to a series of soft tinkles. Nothing -- no giant spiders or demon bears -- comes exploding out. ]

Sounds empty, [ he mutters to Korra, rotating his neck to get a crick out. ] We should stop here.

[anatural]

[Hei may not be sure, but Korra is — the lack of spirits is a very bad sign. There should be some kind of life here. Would every single spirit in the area have gone off to follow Unalaq into the psychical world? Or has something more sinister happened?

The possibilities are horrifying to contemplate. They take up so much of her attention, she barely hears Hei talking about stopping; she grunts in agreement anyway, and lets him take the lead.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei steals a glance at Korra, who looks both frightened and determined, two moods that can only be reconciled in a face like hers. He wants to ask what it means -- no spirits around, nothing to impinge on the eerily pervasive silence. But the texture of his concern is a different one. If there is nothing here, does it signal a mass exodus ... or an ambush? Would Raava be caught up in the movement? Or could she be hiding something, a spot of light on a dark horizon? ]

[ He wants to ask -- except it's clear Korra's guess is as good as his. It's too late to debate about the details anyway. They're both grungy, tired and hungry. By daylight, they'll revise their strategy -- such as it is. Right now they need food and rest. ]

Get some firewood, [ he advises Korra, with an ear cocked to the silent woods. ] I doubt there are rabbits here to hunt. But I can find us other things to eat.

[ Suri grubs. Birds, and the eggs in their nests. Fish, once he finds a good spot near the stream, and a nicely bloody chumline. A lot of fish are night-feeders; in his experience, the bigger ones bite more readily at this dark hour. ]

[anatural]

[The situation doesn't get any less creepy. Korra may not be one to run away from danger, but the implacable silence is an enemy she doesn't know how to fight. She's more than happy to settle back into the cave with a warm fire and the promise of food.]

Did you see anyone while you were out there?

[mortemscintilla]

No.

[ It's neither distressed nor dismissive. But like her, there's an icicle of wariness seated in Hei's chest. But to let it spread in a lattice of bright cold paranoia will do no good. Better to take this one step at a time. Stay in the now. It's a cardinal survival rule. It means to pay attention and keep an up-to-date mental model. Have a plan at hand, but don't fall in love with it. Your main task is to map the environment, map its patterns, and keep the two in harmonious balance. Without the balance, you're screwed. ]

[ The dark stream had a fine flow of water, and his bait of fresh bird-viscera had drawn a seething glut of fish to the surface and made strategy superfluous. He's returned with four birds the rough size of quails, a kerchief of berries and useful herbs, and a half-dozen rainbow-scaled trout that are doomed to give their lives to humanity be gutted and spit-grilled for dinner. ]

[ Settling across from Korra, he saws his blade across the trout's bellies, hacking through the gleaming knot of their insides. Next the quails are plucked and beheaded. Tossing the mess of entrails into the fire, he sticks the glistening bodies onto a set of sharpened skewers, and lets them sizzle over the flames. ]

[ At length, ]

We'll figure out where to go tomorrow. The stream has to lead to a spirit settlement somewhere.

[anatural]

But will anyone be there? [That's Korra's concern. She doesn't doubt that they'll find buildings and signs of settlement — but more and more she's feeling like actual life isn't going to be present.]

[mortemscintilla]

There should be stragglers. [ Humans or spirits, there are weaklings who fall behind during any evacuation. ] If not, there may be clues on how recently they left. Even why.

[ Moon-slices of blood rim his fingernails. He washes them out with a plash of water from the wineskin bag, before taking a deep draught from the rest. The drink settles in his belly like cool sleek lead, and thoughts of how the next few hours -- days -- might go skate through his mind like swarms of midges and leave as little mark. He feels wary, he feels mindful, but he also isn't disheartened. ]

[ The spirit world is a big place. It's impossible to expect progress overnight. The important thing is that they're mobile and functional. That's all that matters right now. ]

[anatural]

[Not impossible to expect progress overnight — just unreasonable. Which Korra knows she's being, except it's hard to ignore the fear and impatience simmering under her skin.]

Tell me about your travels.

[Distract her!]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei raises an eyebrow. For a moment the question is an absolute non sequitur; a half-beat later, it makes perfect sense. (Part of him is amused at how quickly Korra can cycle through moods. In the morning, she'd been all doomy, stayed that way all through their trek, and now it is over, here she is all bright-eyed and curious. Then again, in a situation as bleak as this, it's better to focus outward than let the tar-black ichor in your mind lap over you.) ]

[ He rotates the spit slowly over the shifting line of orange embers, the different meats giving off a warm savory aroma as they broil. ]

[ Quietly, ]

A [ carefully self-censored ] summary?

[ You know perfectly well he's no good at storytelling. Not unless it's manipulation to achieve a goal. ]

[anatural]

Sure. Or all the details. [Is it really such a difficult question?]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It is when you're as allergic to details as he is. ]

[ For a moment Hei stays silent, wrists resting on his knees. What details to offer her? Traveling Korra's world, from the glittering boundaries of the United Republic to the heavy green recesses of the Earth Kingdom, to the Fire Nation -- both its leftover colonies and the heartland within the fertile archipelago itself -- then among the iceberg-fringed settlements of the Water Tribes, he has learnt only that the core of this world is a stratified one: socially, spatially and spiritually. ]

[ Everywhere he's been, he has tasted the clash of compulsive ideologies on his tongue. A war has brewed for 100 years. New conflicts still erupt between benders and non-benders. There is still a push-and-pull between the safety and order of the traditional, versus the bright-eyed glitter of the modern. He doesn't need to go into political detail; it's evident in the concrete form of the cities he's visited -- the way those ideas brand themselves upon each place, in its bones. Bleak stretches of the Water Tribes have a great struggle for survival, an aftermath of tragedy and genocide, marked indelibly in their architecture, but also very strongly visible in their people. Several parts of the Earth Kingdom reflect both their colonial heritage but also a struggle for independence, a love-hate relationship with their history. The Fire Nation is a thrumming proof of renewed benignity during the day, and a field of jewels by night -- yet for all its promise to satisfy your every desire, it feels strangely comfortless. ]

[ He has the sense of being in a world teetering at a cusp, some parts slumbering, others crumbling. All waiting, with a sort of mute expectation, to be invaded by something new. ]

[ Eventually, ]

To be honest ... it almost reminded me of my own world. Lots of inequality. Lots of chaos.

[anatural]

[She frowns. That's...not something she really wanted to hear.]

Where did you go?

[mortemscintilla]

[ He doesn't imagine anyone wants to hear it. But the fact of the matter is, this is a wearily beautiful world, resting upon a million slumbering bones that murmur their discontent beneath smoother pavements than they've enjoyed. He's picked his way over sleek marble temples and past legless shoe polishers, through moonlit moth-blossoming gardens, across incredible technicolor valleys and untended monasteries -- and he's seen that, here, in the City, or back home, it's all the same. ]

[ Hope and self-delusion are the fuel that moves everyone forward. ]

[ At her question, he shrugs, but it's less indifferent than it is an unspoken: I'm sure you can guess. ]

The Water Tribe. Rural towns in the Earth Kingdom. The main cities of the Fire Nation.

[ A beat before his mouth quirks with something like indulgence, like he's aware his reticence isn't what Korra wants right now. His gaze shutters, dim, but not exactly distant. Just plucking at the film-reel of memory for the pretty highlights of his trip ]

I saw a lake shaped like a perfect blue crescent in the middle of a white desert. There was an oasis and an old blood-red palace built near it. I saw huge mountains shaped like incense pillars. Houses built on stilts over a roaring river. A lagoon that changes color from green to blue to red. A bay where the sand is made of something that sings in the wind like windchimes. [ Thoughtfully, he stirs the meat over the crackling fire. ] Still, I'd argue that the Fire Nation was the most advanced. It's like Republic City; best at night. I wish I could show it to you.

[anatural]

[She's about to be cross at him, until he finally starts getting into the details she's interested in. She rests her chin on her hands and listens a little dreamily, a little wistfully.]

Me too. I've never seen it. [She reaches for some of the meat.] You've seen more of my world than I have.

[mortemscintilla]

[ The fire sends up an orange cone that obscures everything beyond it, locking them in with its warmth and light. Hei watches the pretty gold coins of light dancing in Korra's eyes, and for the first time all day, he feels ... not safe, but calm. ]

When this is over ... [ As if there is no doubt in his mind it will be; because you don't live the way he has and not hold an unshakeable conviction that while disaster and atrocity are commonplace, they can still be overcome. ] ... When it's done, we could go. A short tour.

[ It feels odd saying that, mired in so much strangeness, even in a low voice in the semi-dark. His hand reaches out tentatively and aligns to Korra's jaw; thumb stroking the her lips. Not copping a feel, exactly. Just unshackling himself from that weird inarticulated tension that's still inside. The whole reminder that he was gone while she was in such danger is still hanging between them -- unmentioned but not, he is pretty sure, forgotten by her any more than it is forgotten by him. ]

[anatural]

[Not forgotten, maybe, but not held against him. Korra protects herself; she doesn't expect other people to keep her safe. Of all the things she resents, him not being there while she was fighting in the South and taken by her uncle aren't anywhere on the list.

He touches her face, and she scooches closer to him, the way she got to used to with Bolin, though that doesn't occur to her.]

Sounds like fun.