under the stars

[anatural]

WHO: Korra & Hei
WHAT: Their first night in the Spirit World and their first chance for an actual reunion. (nsfw)

[They trek for hours without saying anything, over terrain that varies with neither rhyme nor reason. Sometimes in a desert, other times in a forest, other times across a plain that seems to stretch for miles until suddenly a mountain appears. Hei doesn't ask why they're going the direction they are, for which Korra is grateful because she doesn't know the answer. She doesn't know anything. They're walking not to get anywhere in particular, but to give Korra a chance to figure out what to do, because she can't think while standing still.

Where would Raava have gone? Is there some way she can communicate with the light spirit? Is there anyone in the Spirit World who doesn't completely despise her?

Evening starts to fall, offering no answers, only a reminder that her body is human and, like it or not, needs rest. Luckily(?) they're in a forest. Plenty of material to make camp with.]

We should stop here for the night. [She has to cough a little mid-sentence; her voice rough from disuse.]

Comments

NOT THE SMUTTY THREATS OH NO

[anatural]

[For a moment, her mind is blissfully empty of all thought. She kisses the teeth-shaped bruises on his shoulder apologetically before he pulls her in. A warm feeling of contentment suffuses her. Things are still very wrong — with the world, with herself — but it doesn't bother her as much. Even when it seems like everything is lost, there's still joy and pleasure to be found. Superficial, maybe, but she'll take it.]

ALL THE SMUT >3

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei is always fast to shake off the comedown, a sentinel's attention cutting through the haze of endorphins. But right now, a certain drugging warmth regulates his movements, along with a lingering frisson of excitement from the act. Exhaling, he lets Korra drape herself into the crook of his body, like a kid in a tree, between branches, a soft curl of heat against his hardness. Loving the back of her neck resting on the curve of his arm, its fragile solidity. ]

[ Exhaling, he touches her on the jaw, just another caress of impulse. A beat, then the softness in his gaze recedes and his expression sets into its usual blank-faced order. Still, his voice is soft. ]

All right?

GASPU

[anatural]

Mhmm. [She closes her eyes and wraps an arm around his waist.] 'M just tired. You wear me out. [A teasing poke poke to the area just above his crotch.]

MWAHAHAHA

[mortemscintilla]

What? Already?

[ Almost playfully, he catches her wrist, bringing her hand lower, settling it against the soft heap of genitals, still perceptibly swollen to her touch. Residual, unspent arousal. After ten months, want is omnipresent, a constant baseline humming under his skin. ]

[ Drowsily, he nuzzles Korra's hair. Her lips seem to have ripened during their play, along with her scent; patches of skin on her neck and shoulders and breasts evidence his thorough mauling. For a moment he can only stare at her, knowing it's only incidental that they're in the same place, especially when there are greater hurdles looming at the horizon. Yet the fact of her presence is a submerged happiness, like getting a birthday present, something prosaic but meeting a basic need, a new sweater or a decent meal. ]

[ With a half-smile, he teases, ]

I thought you'd been running a deficit.

[anatural]

Excuse me for being tired after a full day of hiking. [She makes a face at him.] It's not like I've been getting a lot of sleep. [Funny thing about being in the spirit world as a spirit... she got all the exhaustion of being awake, but she didn't know how to fall asleep.

Despite her complaints about being tired, she still fondles him, running her thumb over and around the base of his cock.]

[mortemscintilla]

I think I can help with that last part.

[ A swallow, as he melts a few inches into the furry heap of his coat while Korra's warm little hand commands him from below. He can feel himself twitch, lengthen; a sharp oversenitized ache, overrun by a flaring heat. Humming low in his throat, he presses closer, defining new-old territory with the wrapped closeness of his body across hers. In the dancing orange glow of the campfire, a wistful curiosity darkens his gaze. ]

[ Gently, ]

It's been a crazy few months for you, hm?

[ It's not an apology, exactly, but it's as close to one as Hei gets. ]

[anatural]

[How? By keeping me up? She doesn't end up making the sassy remark; the subject of the past few months is kind of a humor killer.]

Yeah. [She sinks against him, still stroking, but there's a definite thread of sadness in the weight of her.] I thought I could help, but I'm pretty sure I just made things worse.

[mortemscintilla]

You'll get through it.

[ One way or another. It feels true. He recognizes it is, because, even amid all the madness going on in the spirit world and beyond, all the changes that've led up to it, the changes that will follow it, presaging disaster upon disaster –- turning the very air off-key and charged -- she is staying afloat. That is the first step in the right direction. From the point of view of someone already neck-deep in desperate danger, relying on instinct is the best line of defense, while emotionalism and frantic cognition are irrelevant and get set aside. They're slow and clunky; they consciously inhibit the instinctive grid of survival already mapped out in your brain. ]

[ And, reckless and brash as Korra is, her grid is as well-defined as Hei's own. ]

[ He reaches down, curling his fingers around her stroking hand. The mood isn't totally eroded by gravity; still, there's something thoughtful in the way he tips a kiss to her hot brow. ]

Remember: you dealt with worse in the City.

[ Surreal to recall he was part of everything that entailed Worse. ]

[anatural]

[She shakes her head, just a little, without thinking about it. Things had been terrible in the City; she'd even been a part of a war there, but a war against forces holding you captive is very different from a war within your own people. Watching people you've known since you were a child fight and die. Having people you once considered kin become the enemy, or at best look at you with suspicion.

She continues like he didn't say anything.]

I don't know if finding Raava is going to fix anything. But it's the only thing I can do.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei smiles to himself, a bit wistfully. She's in no mood to be comforted, but that doesn't surprise him. Whether she's legitimately responsible or not for the catastrophe is besides the point. It's natural to blame yourself when something terrible happens. It's comforting in a way; it makes you feel there's something you could have done if you'd been smarter, or faster, or whatever. Sometimes thinking you've failed is less frightening than admitting you are essentially helpless. ]

[ He'd tell her that. But there's guarantee she'll understand. Anyway, he's just her boyfriend, not her goddamn alienist. Action comes easier to him than stringing together pretty words. ]

[ He circles her in, his cheek pressed to the soft tumble of her hair. He doesn't say anything, but the protective clasp of his arms, the slow saw of his breathing, conveys a quiet message: Do what you have to. I won't leave you until it's done. ]

[anatural]

[He's certainly not going anywhere with her hand on his junk. She keeps stroking him, more as a demonstration of affection than an attempt to get him hard again.]

Have you ever had to do anything like this before? Try to find someone in a place you don't know?

[mortemscintilla]

Hm?

[ It's faintly slurred. Hard to concentrate with her warm fingers stroking the curvature of his cock; it stirs as if the flesh is breathing against her palm. At her question, though, something shutters across his face. There's a moment's hesitation, before he nods, once, in a way that appears honest -- but if it is, that's only because Hei is making allowances for her, each one larger and larger as time goes on. ]

I have.

[ He thinks of dozens of undercover ops, to strange countries, in disorienting time zones. Thinks of countless stings in Heaven's War, of being parachuted into the sweltering green chaos of jungles for alien objectives. Most of all, he thinks of Pai. Of trying to wrench fragments of info on her whereabouts, from the gears of the Syndicate's machinery, a deadly grinding blur, at the risk of getting some vital part of him lopped off. ]

[ Quieter, ]

When I was seventeen ... something happened. I lost lots of people. And there was no way of knowing if they'd vanished or died. Xing was one of them. [ It feels odd saying it out loud to someone at last, even in a low voice in the flickering orange glow of flames. ] I spent five years trying to figure out if she was still alive.

[anatural]

[A not-so-kind part of Korra thinks That’s not exactly helpful, especially since as far as she knows, he never actually found Xing — she just showed up in the City. But mostly, she's touched by the insight into his past. She's gleaned some of it, already had the sense of its heart, but to be given some of the details (however few) is still special.]

What did you do?

[mortemscintilla]

[ He doesn't answer for a moment. Instead his hand shifts to curl around her wrist, stilling the caress. The pad of his thumb rests over her pulsepoint, the cluster of veins there; fragile enough for anyone to do damage. That's how the body works. That's where his expertise lies -- and what he used as a bargaining chip to stay alive, so he could find Pai. ]

[ I lied. I plotted. I stole. I killed. All so that I could get information about my sister. He can't push those extra words out. He spares a quick glance at the girl to see if any clue is birthing. Korra's face is just as usual, open and accepting and devoid of any sign that she's heard the silent hint. So many hints dropped over the years, you'd think by now the water level would have risen, that the realization would have surfaced behind those eyes. Her eyes are always on him, reading him closely, usually with bright insight, and yet, in this area: nothing. ]

[ (Except he's sure, subconsciously, that Korra knows all about his background. But to give voice to it would bring the fragile wall of denial crumbling down and expose her to cruel clarity.) ]

[ At length, ]

I did whatever I had to. Bad deals. Questionable things. I justified them as a means to an end. Like they'd be worth it, once I had Xing back. But when I found her ... [ His tone softens, private, dull, held back by an audible restraint. ] I realized we weren't the same people anymore. She was still the most important thing in my life. But not ... essential to who I was. She'd made her own choices. And I had to make mine.

[anatural]

[She brings the arm, still held in his grip, back up to wrap around his waist. She can understand that. She's made a lot of choices like that over the past eight months, trying to protect her people. She's helped arrange weapons deals. She's tried to trick the UN army into fighting against the North. She's threatened people who didn't deserve to be threatened. She's tried to kill her uncle. She's not Aang; she doesn't have a giant lion-turtle telling her how to win without killing. None of her past lives are here to guide her. The world is falling apart and she is on her own to try & save it.]

What's our next step? [She doesn't mean to sound callous or like she doesn't care about what he shared, but what can she say to that? I'm sorry? Would he even want to hear it? Probably not. And this whole conversation had started because she's trying to figure out how to look for Raava. Might as well bring it back to the original subject.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He's not expecting an I'm sorry. If anything he welcomes the return to more important topics. She already knows that he hates serious personal chats and tends to greet such invitations as if he's been asked to pound nails into his chest. (And she's never pressed. That is what relieves Hei, but also twists his gut into a puzzle of wariness. The girl with a thousand and one nosy, friendly questions has never asked him, quietly, maybe when they're alone at night What did you do back home? Then again, why would she, given his cruel edges and kneejerk reticence?) ]

[ (He knows this, yet he keeps expecting the question or something like it, even as the years pass and they grow closer; he'd anticipated it long before and had planned out his reply -- his range of replies -- like a man copying and recopying awkward, difficult love letters. He didn't think of love. Any feeling was in the work itself, the deliberate will to be prepared, ready to give; even if no more was asked of him than truth. He had played the permutations of that conversation in his head so many times that he'd worn the scene down to fuzz and white noise. But things are different now, aren't they? That conversation will never play out now the way it might have two years ago. They aren't the same people anymore.) ]

[ She circles her arm across his waist, and he hitches a leg, draping it across her thighs, tying the bow tight to hold her in place. But when he speaks, it's almost businesslike. ]

Allot a timeframe to finding Raava. One week maximum. If we fail, we exit the Spirit World. Track Unalaq down on our own. Once we do, [ something cold glints in his gaze, a black layer of ice, ] we remind him every war has casualties. On both sides.

[anatural]

A week?! [It's hard to bolt up when he's holding her like that, but she tries.] The Spirit World is HUGE! How are we supposed to find her in a week?!

[mortemscintilla]

[ In a smooth movement, Hei rolls so he's draped across her. Arms bracketing her on each side, his eyelids sliding into half-mooning seriousness. Yes, the Spirit World is enormous. But they haven't got the luxury of endless time. Whatever Unalaq is planning, it is huge. The faster they get the drop on him, the better chance they have of averting greater disaster. Korra doesn't need her Avatar powers to take him down; she just needs a mix of cleverness, resource, and self-determination. ]

If we don't find her, we'll handle this on our own.

[ A beat, before his tone changes: softer, but nonetheless steely. ]

You're not helpless, Korra. With, or without Raava. Don't hinge everything on finding her. There's enough strength in you that you can take Unalaq down without her.

[anatural]

[She glowers up at him.]

I couldn't handle him when I did have Raava with me. What makes you think I can take him without her?

[She speaks out of frustration, not fear. She'll fight Unalaq regardless of the condition she's in — with or without her Avatar powers, with or without her physical strength, with or without her limbs even. Korra's a fighter; she knows when to make a strategic retreat, but she doesn't run from a fight. Her uncle needs to be stopped, and it's her job to stop him or die trying.

It'd be a lot easier to not die trying if she had Raava.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's precisely because she's a fighter that he's telling her this. Since Raava's been snatched away from her -- no, even before that -- she's clung to this unshakable belief that her self-worth is entirely dependent on being the Avatar. She's convinced it's her identity, rather than her duty. He's seen the way it affects her battle strategies. Korra is never intimidating -- much less effective -- when she's upset during a fight. She's like a frantic child. She starts throwing elements around, amping up the aggression, and does more harm than good. The idea of anyone besting her becomes completely devastating to her no matter who it's from. Her general way of dealing with it is to re-commandeer her self-esteem by crushing whoever is in the way -- and if she can't, it psychologically cripples her. ]

[ He wants to tell her that there's a paradox at work for any fighter. In order to survive, you must surrender to the flow of the battle, yet at the same time not give in. There must be a sheer raw determination to win the game, yet an acceptance of losing it as well, which ironically gives you an edge. And if you can muster a cool-headed intellect on top of it all, you're better off than your opponents. ]

[ Flatly, ]

It's not about handling him with Raava. Or without her. It's how you go about it. [ His gaze stays tangled with hers, at once sharp and soft. ] It doesn't matter how determined you are. Or if you have your bending or not. If what you believe about yourself isn't compatible with the actions you need to take, you're going to lose.

[anatural]

What's that supposed to mean?

[mortemscintilla]

[ This earns her a sharp look, but nothing else for a moment. Then: ]

Just what I said. Don't be completely dependent on finding Raava, or being the Avatar. They're important. But they're not who you are -- or what's necessary to win. [ His blank expression doesn't alter, but a depthless warmth leaks in at the edges. ] You are gifted, Korra. You really are. Even if your secret idea is that no one else will agree. I saw your potential when we met, I saw who you reminded me of. But I also saw you. You're brave. And smart. And strong. And beautiful.

[ A slow exhale, before he lifts a hand. Runs his thumb over a curve of hair, just above her ear, a lulling touch. ]

You will always be those things, to me. You're what I saw in that moment, and more. Never less, Korra -- no matter how badly you think you've screwed up.

[anatural]

[Way to ruin her frustration, Hei. How's she supposed to be annoyed with you when you say beautiful things like that? She'd cry except that'd be stupid, so she settles for grabbing his hair and pulling him in for a hard kiss, putting into it all of her frustration, her fear, her desperation, her uncertainty, and her gratitude.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ There's a sharp inhale of breath, before he lets his mouth, his whole body, sink against Korra's. Lets his free arm wrap around that tight waist like a loose bow, while the other hand strokes her hair, runs the knuckles tenderly around the curve of her cheek. He can taste everything she's trying to tell him, sweet speaking kisses, and in return he eats her mouth with relish, both hungry and reassuring. It's like something dark and enormous is shifting loose inside him, letting her see through to where he hides. ]

[ His knees squeeze around her flanks, and when he breaks away, it's with a gasp. His erection, almost at full attention, is a thick weight between them. He gathers her in, lets her cheek press against his shoulder so that all he can see is the curve of her head, the gleam of her tumbled hair. He strokes one hand down her back, palming her ass, trying to recover from the wildness of his pulse and burning past all reason with greed for her, the trend of his previous thoughts forgotten. ]

Korra...?

[ It's both wanting and questioning. A reminder of how very far he is from being done with her. ]

[anatural]

[She's hardly done with him either, a fact which she expounds upon in kisses to his neck, his shoulder, just under his chin, peppering them with little bites and scrapes of teeth. How had she survived? How had she gone from sex several times every day to eight months of nothing, just war and fighting and misery? It's unthinkable.

She slips her hand between their bodies and wraps it around his erection, rubbing her thumb teasingly on the head. When she speaks, the word is murmured against his skin.] Yes.