Who do you work for baby?

[mortemscintilla]

WHO: Korra & Hei
WHAT: Wherein Hei has important news. As does Korra. 

 

[ In the days that follow, Hei's life seems locked in stasis -- he may as well be frozen in a cryo-chamber. In the gray dawn every morning, the brute vestige of habit wakes him up in time to go to the factory. Sprawled on the futon, he lies with his back to Korra. Eyes open to watch the sun spread across the bottom of the windowsill, immersed in that strange post-sleep clarity. Sometimes he takes a full five minutes to rise, lulled by Korra's breathing: long, slow inhales, smooth exhales. Just a sliver of space dividing their bodies -- but it might as well be a minefield. ]

[ In the late evenings, stiff and dull-eyed, as if he's been engaged in a low-wattage war someplace, he hits up the Triad hotspots, propped up on a stool with the opium-puffing, betel-chewing low-lives, listening to the scratchy music on the jukebox and inhaling the sour whiff of spilled sake as they talk shop. Almost every night he gets fresh info about the Red Lotus -- their agendas, their movements. It never quite makes the eleven o'clock local news, but from what he's gathered so far, this new threat plans to transform the world into a free-for-all disaster zone, with public figures and political leaders toppled down nightly. ]

[ To separate fact from fiction, he turns to the air-bender held captive in his safehouse. She is tight-lipped and defiant at first. But after he's spread and u-clamped her fingers to a table, and meticulously dismantled them one by one from cuticle to knuckle, she grows chattier. From her, he learns the names of the Red Lotus' leaders. Learns of their failed attempts to kidnap Korra once before, which ended in them being locked up. ]

[ Now they're out, and determined to pick up where they left off. ]

[ The details leave Hei quietly unnerved. He needs to warn Korra. It's true, things have been tense since she'd learnt about his affiliation with the Triads. At home, it is as if they are guests at the same small hotel, who have been introduced for politeness' sake at the table d'hote. Meals are spent in near-silence. Little or no physical warmth passes between them; lying back-to-back in the futon each night, there seems nothing to distinguish the bleak well of sleep from the bleak stretches of wakefulness. They don't talk about desire. It is there -- in him, if not in her -- but as if by silent consent, he acts on it separately, or else not at all. The air in the house seems laced with a dark spell; it burns dim and low between them like creeping resignation.]

[ Still, her safety is his first priority. As the smoky dusk encroaches, he cuts a brisk path through the noise and steam and clamor of the city. Hops on a ferry, and heads to Air Temple Island, where Korra is training with Tenzin. ]

Comments

[mortemscintilla]

[ Patiently -- on the surface, at least -- Hei waits for the noisy party to disperse. Kya heads off in one direction, trailing a cloud of catty disgruntlement. Tenzin heads off in the other, shaking his head as if being attacked by evil midges. Left alone in the room -- a perpetual loose end -- Hei feels, all of a sudden, like someone trying to sober up and failing at it. Unsure of himself, and jittery. He remembers why he rarely visits Air Temple Island: he doesn't feel like part of this crowd, and as clear as it is that they're willing to accept an extra pair of hands at this crucial time, he's always aware of being the odd one out. ]

[ Now, as the weight of Korra's pregnancy descends on him, he feels it more intensely than ever. They're going to find out about the baby, sooner or later. What then? What role will he play in that? The target for Tenzin's rage and animosity. The sperm donor. Responsible for what is going on inside the Avatar -- by accident, without design -- but with no say on whether she ought to keep the little pest, or shouldn't, or future arrangements with or without the baby. ]

[ Forcibly, he shakes himself out of his funk. The bottom line is keeping Korra safe. He's ready to sacrifice the baby to make that happen. Or if she won't allow that -- to include this unexpected third presence within his protective sphere, and to guard it with the same draconian ferocity. ]

[ Quietly, he walks out of the room. At the hallway, he's surprised to see Korra hovering uncertainly. He blinks slowly, his face otherwise devoid of expression, ]

I thought you were going to see Jinora.

[anatural]

[Korra is just about to kick herself in the ass and go find the younger girl when Hei finally emerges. She smiles awkwardly, a little nervously, at him.]

That was mostly an excuse to leave. I mean, I need to talk to her, but she's probably asleep by now.

[She falls silent for a moment, struggling with what to say, whether to say, what she's feeling. Eventually, she just blurts out —]

Are we okay?

[She doesn't want to get into their argument from before, and considering he's chosen to stay with her, it seems silly to ask. But the question won't stop niggling at her.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Are we okay? She asks the question like an eager, frightened child, seemingly embarrassed to be requesting reassurance, but unable to quell the urge. ]

[ Hei doesn't reply immediately. His disenthrallment with the situation is clear. He wishes he could say they're okay. That whatever comes their way, they'll be okay. But he can't. Because he's still convinced keeping the baby is a terrible idea. He's convinced one day she's going to wake up, sick, frightened, angry, see how she's all wrapped up in one shitstorm after another, plus all the additional shit they'll manage to create together in the aftermath of the previous shit, and she's going to think back to this moment, and remember that he'd warned her that the value on his life is upside down, and she's going to realize that she should have run like the fucking wind. ]

[ He's a killer. He's not parent material. It's not an option. However much he wants it, it's just impossible. Maybe, ten years from now, if he learns to be a halfway decent person, with his finances in order, with no enemies made every sunset and killed every sunrise, if he and Korra last so long, if he lives that long, maybe... God, what is he even thinking? ]

[ If I live that long. ]

[ Suddenly his head pounds, and his heart is an unruly thing pitching tantrums inside his chest. Fuck. Surviving a war, fighting Contractors, running from the Syndicate -- why does it feel like nothing to this? ]

[ When he meets Korra's eyes it's a little distanced, a return back to a slightly more subdued version of the thousand yard stare he gets when he's rolled into his head. But there's something rueful, something tender too, in the set of his eyes. ]

[ Eventually, quietly, ]

I'm not sure. But ... I want to do everything I can [ baby or no baby ] to make sure we are.

[anatural]

[Not exactly what she wants to hear, but at least it's honest? That's a good thing, right? Despite the distance, despite way it looks like he's gone into his head...it's a good thing. Yes.]

Okay. [Not like she has a choice. He feels what he feels. She hesitates, then reaches out for his hand. She's trying to figure out what is and isn't allowed when they're not okay.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She reaches for his hand, and while it's not usual for Hei's pulse to pick up from such a simple contact, that wild gallop in his chest is a near thing. Everything is tentative, like a test, each seeing what the other will permit. Yet, as her warm little fingers curl around his, it occurs to Hei, staring at her wide blue eyes, that this moment, this beep and flicker of mutual transmission, is what he's chasing. The tactile promise of -- Yes. It is okay. It can be. ]

[ And it comes so quietly, for all of that. It comes so soft, so gentle. ]

[ Squeezing her hand, he edges closer. Trails the fingertips of his free hand along her jawline, then palms her face. He only means to be tender, but then he notices, as if for the first time, that they're alone again. Swallowing, he hesitates a beat -- then draws her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin, encompassing her in a tight embrace. ]

[ This close, she smells the same as ever. Her usual aroma of bracing greenery mixed with anxious low-level perspiration, a heady combination for him at any time. But in the center of her body he can almost imagine a small, concentrated weight, a hot tangle of cells, multiplying, dividing, burning, forming. ]

[ Reluctantly, he loosens his grip. Enough to gaze down at her, and say, ]

You should ... get some rest.

[ His body sings and vibrates in quiet protest, telling him to re-bridge the gap between them. Reminding him there are other ways to comfort her, be close to her. But somehow, suddenly, it seems selfish to let his desire show that bluntly. ]

[anatural]

Nn. [She agrees, but she doesn't let him go. They haven't held each other like this in awhile. She wants to savor it, to forget everything else that's between them. Why can't things be simple? Why does everything have to get in the way?

Footsteps come down the hallway. She should step back, put distance back between them. Instead, she tightens her grip.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Resentfully, Hei listens to the footsteps growing louder. He should detach from Korra, for politeness' sake if nothing else. Tenzin has made it clear often enough, everytime he's seen 'Li's gaze skitter toward the Avatar, that this isn't his house -- or a brothel. He's not free to do as he pleases. ]

[ But -- fuck that. Korra's body is hot and pulsing; he can feel the beating of her heart, and without meaning to, he clasps her in tighter, tucks her face in against his neck. Why does this feel, above any other possibility, like the most consoling, the most delicious place he knows? He'd ponder it, except he's content to idle like this, unpressing. To breathe her in, the familiar faint tang of clean flesh, notes of salt from the sea. And something else too, an aroma of bittersweet happiness. Like a secret confession, given only to him. ]

[ Eventually, though, he has to break the spell. Detaching slowly, he lets his hand skim across the small of her back. The footsteps are close. ]

[ Quietly, ]

Come on. I'm serious about you resting.

[anatural]

[He pulls away, and Korra grabs for his hand. Little touches aren't enough; she feels like if she lets him go too far, the divide between them will get even wider and they'll never be able to bridge it.]

You should rest too. [With me. It's not so much innuendo as an unspoken plea.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He's surprised by the way she clings to him like a limpet. But this is an uncertain time for her, isn't it? Astonishment upon astonishment piling up, leaving her wobbly and overwhelmed, teetering on the edge of collapse. Not that she will. At least, he hopes not. Whatever else, Korra is sturdy. ]

[ Still, it's natural for her to gravitate to the warm and familiar. Two words Hei would never dream of applying to himself, but her nearness, the bright glow in her eyes, creates this momentary braid of then and now, everything looping together like a big bow around the present. ]

....All right. [ He tries to ignore the plea in her voice, even as heat and want and all sorts of terrible things rush through his blood, a slow, aching tingle skittering over his skin. Butterscotch, he thinks dimly. She is how butterscotch would be, if it were alive. ]

[ Forcibly, he dials down the desire suffusing his body. Reminds himself that it wouldn't do any good to get grabby. Not until she's seen a proper doctor or a healer, anyway. Until they know just how tenuous or secure -- is there such a thing as secure in these circumstances? -- the pregnancy is. (Ironic, that he's wary of risks like preterm labor or bleeding or triggering abnormal contractions, but part of him is still halfway hopeful she'll terminate the pregnancy.) ]

[ Swallowing, he laces his fingers with hers. Gently tugs, guiding her out of the hallway, and toward her room. ]

[anatural]

[Funny, too, how he's more worried about triggering problems with the pregnancy than she is. Korra has no desire to... well, resist desire. It doesn't occur to her that sex might be dangerous, especially since it's been so long. He starts leading her, but she's the first one actually through the bedroom door. She pulls him in, closes the door, and wraps her arms around his neck.

This is okay, right? She should ask — except she's already kissing him.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Given everything that's led up to this point -- words, touches, glances -- her impulsive pouncing doesn't take Hei by surprise. What surprises him is the way the air hisses between his teeth in a tea-kettle whistle. The touch of her mouth on his -- small, searing, delicious -- is like a wonderful, red-hot wire slashing across his self-control. The slashing gives way to a steady pulse and grind: a clock's worth of rusted gears meshing in his stomach, his chest, his groin. ]

[ Fuck. It's been so long. Long enough that his desire has grown hard-edged and sharp like the blades hidden in his coat. ]

[ Against his better judgement, he drags her in closer. Kisses her hard, as if distracting himself from the rest of his own wakening body. In the dimness of the room, she is a darker shape against the gloom, shaped in soft crests and eddies, plays of moonlight and starlight. But beautiful despite all that -- or maybe more beautiful because of it. ]

[ He doesn't know. He can only eat her mouth with desperation, hips settled in close, a slow stirring against her heat, as if trying to align their parts just right, find the perfect fit. ]

[ Then he remembers -- the Red Lotus. The baby. The thundercloud of trouble brewing. And the reminder is like a splash of ice-cold water. ]

[ Forcibly, he wrenches back. Lip-swollen, hazy-eyed, his breathing a shade too quick. ]

Korra -- hold on --

[anatural]

[No! There will be no wrenching back! Korra growls and yanks him back in for another kiss. It's not just about the buildup of sexual energy, or the weird chemical magic that gives him the ability to turn her on just by being nearby. This is how they communicate. When words fail them, when their vastly different life experiences put up a seemingly impenetrable barrier, sex is how they break through. It's not that bodies can't lie — even Korra's not that naive — but neither of them have lied yet. Its beauty (and its fatal flaw) is how it strips away the complications and communicates only the barest of bones. I love you. I want you close.

She's tired of words and their complications. She wants — needs — simple, basic reassurance.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He's as tired of words as she is. Tired of the way you have to be careful of the loaded subtext as if with a gun, to learn how to dissemble and prevaricate to suit yourself, to elaborate only on details the other person wants to hear until you cannot entirely separate honesty from bullshit. Hates how once you try to put matters as tenuous and fragile as what spins between him Korra into words, the words fail, which is why it's better to leave them off altogether. ]

[ Except words are necessary here. They need to talk about the pregnancy. About the risks and repercussions, about the Dos and Donts. A million terrible scenarios wing through his head -- the threat of hypertension so common at her age, trebled by the pressures Korra is facing. Preeclampsia. Miscarriage. All pertinent concerns, and ones that ought to sober him up fast. ]

[ Except her mouth, claiming his, tastes of heat and sweetness; he hums as she drags him in, his own hands clutching feverishly at her hips, her shoulders, tunneling up into her hair. His other parts have decided to start working against him too, because the shifting and rubbing his hips contrive against hers is a kind of sharp, dissonant music that unfurls down his spine and makes him try harder. His mouth breaks from hers only to tongue along her jaw, lips and teeth playing with a tender little ear, sucking the lobe as if it's a nipple. ]

[ But despite her body's disorienting allure, its pulsing heat and the haze it brims in his brain, he has enough sanity left to breathe, ]

'M not sure ... this is a good idea.

[alittlebent]

Don't care. [She bites hard on his neck and grabs his ass, pulling him towards the bed. Details can be dealt with later; right now she needs this. Not like air, or water — nothing so desperate as that — but like sleep. Too long without and she's tense, stressed out, fuzzy-brained, and temperamental. She needs it to restore her sanity. Or maybe she needs it like solid ground, a steady surface on which to confront everything coming her way.

Tell me you love me. Tell me we're in this together.]

[mortemscintilla]

But --

[ He's forgotten how strong she can be when she wants to be. His body feels pitched off-kilter, caught in the current of her bites and kisses, the greedy way she grapples at him, drawing him closer to that hot dark gravity of her body. Logically, he knows it'd be easy to disentangle himself. But all that covert-ops training and the highly-honed senses, any assistance of that persona that so perfectly embodies the Nietzschean Ubermensch -- none of that seems available right now. His reserves of restraint are running dry; he's all out of fight. ]

[ He doesn't resist when they perform a stagger-waltz across the floor to splay atop her narrow bed. Her body seems to be thrumming beneath his, her small hot face like something both solid and fragile caught in his hands. Between gusts of air, Hei spins kisses rapidly into the space between their mouths -- slow probing kisses, wet quick skimming ones. His pulse is like a hive of red wasps filling his skull; he can feels himself, swollen and trapped, already leaking pre-cum into his boxers and dampening even the thick denim. ]

[ But he needs to be gentle, to keep a clear head, if he's going to do this right. ]

[ Breaking from her with a ragged inhale, he says, ]

Easy. I'm not going anywhere.

[ A reminder for himself as much as for her. ]

[alittlebent]

[Are you sure? She almost wants to ask, but doesn't. She's taking him at his word, regardless of how little reason to trust he's given her. Korra takes a deep breath and tries to slow her racing heart, get control over a body that wants to be all over him. She largely succeeds, but lets herself rock her hips against him, a concession to burning desire.]

I don't want to play games tonight. [By which she means the foreplay that's one of the many reasons he's better than Bolin in bed. For all of her seemingly reckless abandon, she is keenly aware of where they are, and how little Tenzin approves. She doesn't want Hei to test how far he can push her, or how loud he can make her scream. She just wants to feel him.]

[mortemscintilla]

Al-- all right.

[ He tries for a level tone. But then she rocks under him, and he gutters out an unsteady breath, the muscles in his body stringing taut in a ripple from shoulders to thighs. It's so hard to stay still, and he can feel his face filling with the same hot, wild rush of blood as his groin. With effort he tamps the need down, keeping his attention off her sweet restless hips, off the stiffening crux of their bodies, despite how unbelievably good it feels, leverage and violin bows and crickets and sex. ]

[ I don't want to play games tonight. He absorbs the words like water, drinking in that earnest neediness in her lovely little face. How long has it been, he thinks, since anyone has looked at him that way? That clear-eyed and raw. He feels as if he's just inhaled a mouthful of fresh mint. It is a sensation that clears the head and lungs, slaps him awake with bracing pleasure. ]

[ Swallowing dryly, he fans his fingers across Korra's skull. Smoothes a hedge of curls, touch sliding down to clasp the back of her neck. ]

All right.

[ Reassurance, assent, consolation. It could be any number of things. By degrees, he makes himself heavy on her. Lets his lips play with hers again, a humid butterfly tease, before he slips a free hand between them. Strips off his coat and shirt, then undoes the buttons of his trousers, shucking them off awkwardly along with his sandals before moving to peel off Korra's clothes. ]

[anatural]

[She can peel off her own clothes, thanks. She's not going to just lie there and wait for him to do everything — for one thing, that would take way too long. While he's stripping out of his clothing, Korra shucks off her own, sending her boots flying across the room with a loud clatter that makes her wince a little. Whatever. She's an adult and she's allowed to do this. Her hairties come loose as pulls her shirt over her head, and hair gets stuck in her mouth & nose.]

Bleh! [She fumbles to get it out of her mouth. Ooooo, sexy.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Worthy of a Playboy centerfold. ]

[ Hei represses a smile as she fusses with her wolf-tails. Tries to ignore those sinuous wriggling movements of her body, even as they send something like a whiskey-waft of heat spiking through his bloodstream. Trapped in the canopy of her hair, Korra has such a nice shape to her head. Her hair-ties tumble forward like animal-ears and her nose is squinched up, the muscles in her face mobile, alive. She's so funny looking sometimes, and he'd tell her so, but what he really thinks is that she's cute, brimming with the same disarming, charming eagerness as a kitten with a ball of yarn. ]

[ Working the last scraps of his clothes down with hers, he fixes on her hair-ties. Plucks them free one by one, before burying his face in the tossed mess of her hair. With the other hand, he works his erection -- painfully twisted -- at a more comfortable angle between them; it stripes a wet line along her belly and seems to jump head-first into the nest of his hand, slippery-smooth and hot. ]

[alittlebent]

[As soon as the hair is out of her mouth, Korra's back to kissing him wherever she can reach. Invisible brands to claim him as hers, greedy & possessive. If he pulled back right now and told her to choose between him and the baby... she'd still choose the baby's life. But there'd be no hiding how the decision would cut up her insides and leave her heart a bloody pulp on the floor.

Luckily he doesn't, and she wraps her hand around the one holding his erection.]

Let me. [She doesn't try to displace his hand, just moves it with hers as she starts a slow, steady stroke.]

[mortemscintilla]

Fuck.

[ The words buzz against the top of Korra's skull. He lets her little hand guide his, one thumb flicking under the notched ache at the tip and feeling his cock bounce within their clasped palms. Fluid pearls out to coat the head glossily, and he inhales with a ragged catch, heat flaring across his body up into the roots of his hair. Muzzily, he glances down at their linked palms. And in that brief, vertiginous moment the idea comes to him that there are hands forming inside her, hands that are attached to arms, attached to a body with a head and legs and a sex and it is made up of part of him and part of her. Growing. Inside her. Conceived as if he hasn't been a dispenser of death all these years -- alive, and here right now, in this room. ]

[ Something of himself, that he's imagined deader than dead for decades, is quickening. ]

[ Something whirls through him, terrifying, thrilling, like the cracked-open cylinder of a silver pistol, spun by momentum while he stares, spellbound, at the perfect coins of light that glint through each empty chamber. ]

[ Eyes squeezed shut, he catches Korra's mouth with his again. Kisses her hard -- insatiable excessive kisses struggling up his chest to take wing on lips and teeth and tongue, as if something inside him is shattering open with a need to soothe, to be soothed, to remind her that for better or worse, they're stuck in this mess together. ]

[alittlebent]

[It's a sign of the difference in their ages — or maybe just the difference in their life experiences — that it doesn't feel that real to her yet. After Kya pointed it out, Korra did recognize the change in her chi that indicates she has a new life inside her. But she doesn't feel connected to the baby yet. Her determination to keep the child is cultural and a reaction to the violence she's tolerated from Hei; it's not because she feels a bond with the life inside her. How can she? Physically, she doesn't feel any different. It doesn't feel like there's something alive inside her, just an obligation. Once it's more concrete, once it's something she can actually feel, maybe then...

She whimpers softly as he kisses her, kisses which straddle the line between pain and pleasure, but even with that, the room is remarkably quiet. The sound of their breathing, the ruffle of sheets and the wet slide of skin on skin are all swallowed by the night. She can hear an acolyte next door reciting her mantras, yet it doesn't pierce the bubble that surrounds them.

Slowly, carefully, Korra shifts so that she can lie back, Hei on top of her, their joined hands holding his erection just outside her entrance. She rolls her hips in an unspoken invitation to come inside as he is.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He won't say it feels real, exactly. Hell, he still doesn't know what to think, what to feel about this. It is such an impossibility that he's never -- in all the daydreaming he'd once done about leaving the Syndicate, starting a normal life -- both when they were unattainable and after he'd grasped a semblance of them, imagined any such thing. He's come to rely on Korra's presence: her, and Yin, and Mao; the three stabilizing elements of his small life, like inert chemicals that maintain a state of suspended hyper-activity. Adding someone new to that triple-variable equation feels risky. ]

[ Just one combustible element -- acid to base, match to kindling -- and boom. Everything blows sky-high. ]

[ Yet part of him fears too, that he might never be like this again, his emotions and needs so synched with another human being. That irrational creature in his chest reminds him that this is his one chance to imagine a child, his child, as something still in potential, something yet possible. A fact to celebrate before the inevitability of numberless nights spent in hindsight and consolation. ]

[ From the window, an elongated rectangle of moonlight moves slowly across the wooden floor. The room itself feels like the depth-charged interior of a conch-shell, of a cathedral; their breathing is a loud sawing-in-and-out, like whispered prayers or ocean resonance. It fills all the wide gaps and makes a quiet space inside him. ]

[ When Korra spills onto her back, legs fanning open, and guides him down to where she's ripest and hottest, Hei can feel the trapped length of his erection radiate a pulsing, focused heat, from root to tip. For a moment, in a fluttery panic, he thinks he should put a condom on. Just to be on the safe side. ]

[ But -- fuck. She feels so good. Fresh greedy energy percolates through him. His blood zitzes with the memory of the last time they'd done this. ]

[ Edging his hips lower, he scrapes against her folds, snagging friction turning to slippery after a few tentative strokes. His cock notches lengthwise between her slick lips and he rocks slowly. Nudging her clit with the heavy vein at the underside, once, twice, again, half teasing, half experimental, before he changes the angle, slipping down into her opening and pressing in. Her skin seems to open up with a silky sigh, and Hei exhales a low complexity of hums, feeling the pressure of his head pop in and stretch her open. ]

[alittlebent]

[On the plus side, it's not like she can get any more pregnant. Korra probably should be more worried about the risk of disease than she actually is, but it's such an abstract threat compared to everything else facing her that it hardly seems worrying about.

She's not as prepped for him as she usually is — they've skipped the foreplay before, and her arousal has gone from 0 to 60 before, but never at the same time. She hisses as he pushes inside, and it's almost like those first few times all over again, that peculiar mixture of pleasure and unfamiliar discomfort. Without the condom, it's like seeing someone out of uniform for the first time — you recognize them, yet they still seem like an entirely different person.

Korra breathes deeply before starting to move with him. She's walking a delicate line, trying to get as much pleasure as she can without hitting the spots that make her scream. She wants to keep the quiet, not do anything that might puncture the bubble they're in.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei absorbs her hiss as he sinks in, his skin stung with lust and regret and a bittersweet tenderness. Grasping her knee, giving the skin of her inner-thigh a soft deep pinch, he widens her legs, one ankle curling around his calf. Lets his mouth play with hers, before latching in a fierce kiss, wanting this to feel good to her, wanting everything for her. And fuck -- she is so tight; it's like she's squeezing him in two. Head swimming, the muscles in his shoulders and thighs ticcing, he withdraws the slightest bit, then pushes deeper. Repeats the process, a steady rocking pressure, edging himself determinedly around the gate like a burglar. Circling, nudging, sliding deep, deeper, then slickly sinking in one swallow, until he is pressed against her womb. ]

Oh.

[ He's forgotten how different she feels without the condom. Forgotten the way it makes his nerves chime -- a high-pitched chorale of being enveloped in living heat. ]

[ Gradually, he sets a deep, slow-motion fucking. Not just because of the need for muffled silence, but because he wants to take his time. Take her with him. Hips keeping a metronomic precision -- a withdrawal, a plunge, a grind -- while his hands roam with a trancelike fascination across her body. One hand ladders up her ribs to cup a breast, which feels rounder, the nipple pooched out. The other hand dips between their bodies, palm pressed to her curly mons as he thumbs fleeting circles at her clit. ]