mortemscintilla: ∅♫ All these icons are keyworded to hooker songs :D (Hei - A Moment To Grieve)
Hei (Li Shenshung) ([personal profile] mortemscintilla) wrote in [community profile] fuse_box2015-06-27 01:29 am

It's my party

WHO: Korra & Hei
WHAT: Everything continues to be awkward and terrible. At least there is cake.

[ Tonraq's death had cast a pall over Mai's first birthday. But the second -- navigated by the traditional lunar calendar -- falls on a different day of the year, so there is no threat of celebrations and mourning crisscrossing. Korra isn't one for funeralizing anyway, Hei knows. Her father is gone, and she won't let him out of her heart and mind -- he'll always be with her as long as she's alive. But she needs to live, while remembering her existence is defined not just by death. There's loss, but there's also joy. Old sorrow, but new life, too.  ]

[ At least, he figures those are her reasons for this little party. ]

[ Asami had phoned him the week earlier. She'd invited him to brunch at Kwong's, explaining that Korra and Mai would be there. I know you only see them once a week. Maybe it'll be nice to socialize a bit more. Aching to go see his daughter -- but wary of making Korra uncomfortable -- Hei reluctantly declined. In dreams, he saw Korra, Mai and Asami as if in a sumptuous watercolor painting. Imagined them at the restaurant, cozied under the multicolored glow of an expensive stained-glass lamp, sipping tea from colorful crockery. He dreamed, as sloppy brushstrokes filled out the scenery, that they were all relieved by his refusal. He saw Mai's face melting into blankness, a doll devoid of any recognition for him, before the dream shivered away like paper torn into soggy bits. ]

[ He tries not to think about it. Mostly, he keeps himself too busy to think. He's moved out of the dump he'd rented, to the forty-sixth floor of one of the twin high-rises that Future Industries has constructed downtown -- a sleek but affordable complex. He chooses a three-bedroom corner apartment. The place is bright, airy, larger than he needs so most of the rooms go unused. But he likes living on the top floor, with a glittering view of the city, above it all. Also, at the time he'd rented it, it was to his advantage to take a place that didn't fit the profile of what a loner, recently separated and with minimal needs, would take for an apartment. ]

[ (It wasn't his only reason -- sure. But it also wasn't the first time his wishful thinking had blurred so seamlessly with his operational instincts.) ]

[ He's still working with Future Industries. With -- not For. The quirky old tech he'd been assisting has freelanced into weapons manufacturing -- and Hei had resolved to go with him. The arms trade isn't his main interest, though. He's spent the months since returning from the Enterprise rebuilding and restructuring the network he'd left behind. In Republic City, the basis exists for a competitive, free market of intelligence. The police force needs it, the President's entourage need it, as do the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation, the Water tribes. The means to access terrorist cells, to infiltrate the dens of well-connected kingpins, to assassinate political rivals, to create elite military units. ]

[ He is working toward developing his own private op. Hell, ever since the furor in the Earth Kingdom, there are new outfits springing up all over, the equivalent of Halliburton and Blackwater and K-Crucible, and it's hard to tell where the governments end and the shady private sector begins. Buyers have got their choice of which faction to gather intelligence, manpower, artillery -- or cannon fodder -- from. Hei intends to make sure his product is better than best. ]

[ (He knows, if Amber were here, she'd be laughing at how his life is playing out.) ]

[ A few nights before the big day, his phone rings late, while he is in bed, his eyes getting heavy over a book. This time it is Korra, inviting him to Mai's birthday. Not a huge celebration -- just a small intimate gathering. Startled, Hei agrees -- before he can think twice about how stupid and heartbroken this will leave him once he's there. He doesn't want to socialize with Korra's friends -- or be reminded of the life he'd tossed away. Doubts, too, that he'll get much private daddy-daughter time with Mai. But it will be enough to see her. She's growing, little by little. He doesn't want her to have no concrete childhood memories of her father beyond their one-hour playtime on Fridays. ]

[ When he first approaches the Beach House, he thinks it has caught fire, but the vapor wafting out of the windows is sweet incense. Something stops him from just knocking on the door; maybe the bright undercurrents of people in the air. Peering through the window, he watches Korra bustle around, her gestures elegant and formalized, like a medieval dance, with a whole host of partners. Tenzin, Pema and the Air Babies. Jinora and Kai. Asami. Mako. Bolin and Opal. And in their midst, impossibly small, the glowy sparkle in her eyes outshining everything in the room, is Mai. ]

[ For a minute Hei just stares at her, as if he is watching some mimed play. His daughter, and Korra -- his best beloveds -- right there on the other side of the glass. A strange object lesson -- of everything he'd almost had, and foolishly squandered. ]
anatural: Korra looking up with her hair down (Happy: Hair down dreaming)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-27 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[It never stops hurting. Or at the very least, it hasn't yet — neither Hei's betrayal nor her father's death. But the pain has become so familiar that it's like a part of her, no more remarkable than the beating of her heart. It no longer makes her nervous, being around Hei.

Asami had been surprised that Korra invited him without any kind of prompting. She doesn't trust him, will probably never trust him completely, but after a year, she feels he's earned a little more time with his daughter. After the party, she wants to talk to him about visiting more often.

Assuming he even comes. He said he would, but Korra is half-convinced he'll chicken out. He's never been comfortable in crowds, or with her friends, and he's usually very punctual. (She gave him the right time for the party, didn't she? The past week has been so crazy, she doesn't actually remember what time she told him. Wouldn't that be awkward...)

But she forces herself not to worry about it, to just focus on her daughter. Mai's infectious happiness makes that easy enough. And then finally she hears Asami say —]


Don't just lurk outside! Come on in!
anatural: Korra grins smugly (Smug: Coy look)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-27 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is how it should have been. A part of Korra wishes that Hei had stayed awkward with Mai, that he hadn't developed this remarkable bond with her. Then at least she could look at his walking away as for the best instead of It didn't have to be like this.]

I was starting to think you — Mai, no hitting! [The little girl was fascinated with the sounds her hand made when she slammed it on things and is currently testing it out on Hei's face — too little and innocent to know what a particularly bad idea that is. Once she's stopped and Korra's judged Hei's reaction, she continues.] I was starting to think you weren't going to make it.
anatural: (Avatar: Aang is with you)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-27 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[Korra's eyes narrow at that gruff tone, and there's a hint of warning in her voice when she responds.] Good. [She lets it go at that. The gruffness may irritate her, and she knows that groveling apologies would have been even more annoying, but she's not going to let her feelings ruin Mai's party, especially now that the toddler is old enough to remember when things go wrong.

She continues in a gentler tone.]
She hasn't had her dinner yet, if you want to feed her. It's in the fridge. [The little girl is still too young to eat most of the food laid out for the guests. Korra lingers a bit, in case Hei wants to hand the baby back to her, but assuming he doesn't, she'll go off to talk to her friends and give him some quality time with his daughter. Always with a weather eye on them both, but not hovering the way she used to.]
anatural: Korra frowns (Annoyed: Sulky frown)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-28 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
[Korra can't keep herself away from the kitchen, though she tries. She coos over pictures of the children Opal and Bolin have been caring for in their orphanage; she catches up with Mako on the latest Earth Republic news from Wu; she moderates a passionate debate between Tenzin and Jinora over the young woman's reformist philosophies. But a part of her is in that kitchen, pulling her towards it.

She arrives just in time to hear You can stay over with me, and her heart freezes. Without even realizing it, she's halfway into the kitchen and pulling Mai into her arms.]
Don't.

[Fortunately, Pema is nearby, and Korra hands the wriggling toddler off to her. She doesn't want Mai to hear this conversation.]

Don't you ever say something like that to her without talking to me first. Do you understand? I am not going to be the bad guy because you get her hopes up and I have to say no.

[Mai's too young to understand what Hei told her, which is the only thing keeping Korra reasonably civil about this. She knows it's inevitable; by virtue of the fact that Hei isn't around all the time, he's already the "fun" parent, while Korra's the one left to handle discipline and the unpleasant parts of parenting. But she refuses to let him think he can manipulate their daughter to get what he wants. She is nipping that in the bud right here, right now.]
anatural: (Avatar: Aang is with you)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-28 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[At least he's learned to apologize. Korra closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and expels her negative feelings as she exhales. Mostly.]

It's fine. Just... talk to me before you make offers like that. [She can hear Pema calming the fussy Mai... and Hei's expression, the way something inside him seems to curl up like a salted slug. Korra doesn't want to be the Bad Guy.]

I haven't even seen your new place yet. I can't let Mai visit you there until I've seen it myself.
anatural: (Avatar: Aang is with you)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-28 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's painful to watch him try to smile -- knowing that he's hurting and there's nothing she can do about it because it's his own damn fault. Korra can't quite meet his eyes.]

How about tomorrow? I can ask Jinora to babysit for a few hours.
anatural: Korra kissing someone's shoulder (Shippy: Shoulder kiss)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-28 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[Luckily for him, Korra's not looking.]

Great. I'll talk to Jinora now. [After a moment.] You should get some dinner, too. We'll be having cake soon.
anatural: Korra looking up with her hair down (Happy: Hair down dreaming)

The next day

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-28 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's doing well for himself. Korra takes a moment to stare up at the large highrise where Hei now resides. It's much nicer than any of the other places he's lived in... even nicer than the beach house, in a way. And it's a Future Industries building -- Asami showed her the floor plan and it certainly looks nice. But she still needs to see it for herself. Where is he keeping his weapons? Is everything stored so a toddler can't get to it? Etc.

Taking a deep breath, she steps inside and heads up the elevator to the top floor. His windows better all be locked properly.]
anatural: Korra kissing someone's shoulder (Shippy: Shoulder kiss)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-06-29 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
[No, Korra has no other reason for coming by — though it'd be a lie to say she didn't harbor secret desires. This is, after all, the first time they'll have been alone together in over a year... actually, this will probably be the first time they've been alone together since Mai was born, if you don't count that terrible hospital visit. It's exciting, no matter how much she wishes that it wasn't. If only losing trust in someone meant losing desire for them as well...

She reaches his door, her stomach doing flipflops as her entire body tingles in anticipation. Get a grip on yourself! She shakes her head and knocks on the door.]
anatural: Korra smiling with her hair down (Happy: Hair down smile)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-07-03 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[He opens the door and Korra is hit with a wave of homesickness too powerful to be labeled mere "nostalgia", nearly bowling her over. The familiar smell of his cooking wars with the smell of a new shampoo; together it's a brutally taunting reminder of what they had and lost, and she's torn between running away and kissing him.

Except she's an adult, so she does neither. She's here for a reason, after all. For Mai's sake, she'll endure these painful feelings.]


It smells great. Can I come in?

[Dangerous, dangerous territory, but it's all for her daughter.]
anatural: Korra smiling with her hair down (Happy: Hair down smile)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-07-03 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sake would be a terrible idea right now, for both of them.]

Tea, please. [While he prepares the tea, Korra takes the opportunity to look around without leaving the living room. (Tempted as she is to explore the other rooms, she'll wait until Hei gives her the tour. This isn't her home; she can't wander through it at will.)]

This place is beautiful. [Just as spartan as you'd expect from Hei, but the amount of sunlight coming through the windows, even on a rainy day like this, softens it, making it seem homey. No sign of his weapons, but that's no surprise. Of course he wouldn't leave his weapons out in the opens -- but has he secured them from an inquisitive toddler? That's what she's worried about. Mai has a way of getting into the things you'd least expect.]
anatural: Korra looks cheerful (Default)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-07-03 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[Korra uses her water-bending to cool the tea to the perfect temperature before taking a sip. He still remembers exactly how she likes it -- a small kindness that frustrates because it endears. She sets it down on a nearby table when he offers to show her around.]

Let's start with Mai's space. [Korra is far from ready to offer sleepovers, but there should be a part of the apartment dedicated to storing toys and baby supplies and where she can be changed. If Hei expects that Korra will schlep all of the baby's necessities along with the baby herself for a visit... Well, that will tell her a lot.]
anatural: Korra looking up with her hair down (Happy: Hair down dreaming)

[personal profile] anatural 2015-07-03 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Korra stops herself from asking if that was Asami's idea — it's the sort of expensive high-tech thing that Asami would recommend. But it was also a very Hei gesture. As utilitarian as he is, he has an incredible eye for beauty, and it shows in the most subtle ways.]

It's great. [She unconsciously reaches out to squeeze his hand, though she drops it quickly enough as she comes to her senses. You can't fall into old patterns.

A little brusquely, she adds: ]
You're going to need some shelves, though — or boxes. Someplace to put her toys so they aren't lying around.

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