Cold comfort for change

[mortemscintilla]

WHO: Korra & Hei
WHAT: Parting is such awkwardz.  

[ The days leading up to his departure pass in a blur. ]

[ He has enough to do. Arrangements and plans, between drifting from crowded walk-ups to cheap lodging houses -- (His and Korra's 'date' stretched entirely too long. Long enough to snap Tenzin's already-frayed temper. When they'd returned to Air Temp Island, he demanded, red-faced and practically frothing, that 'Li' pack up and leave the following morning. Hei was all too happy to oblige.) -- travel papers, guides and useful information on the colonies beyond Republic City. He's purchased tickets for the train journey. He's plotted out his routes on maps and snagged himself a reliable guide. ]

[ His separation from Korra isn't on his mind as much as he would have expected. But its absence seems linked to her lack of presence, because of course he'd think of it most when she's closeby, a visceral reminder of what he stands to lose. In the rare moments when he does allow the ideas to seep in, he's gripped by a vertiginous combination of sadness and dread, and wishes he could speak to her. ]

[ But he's said everything that required saying. She'd been sullen and resentful -- but she hadn't stopped him. (Would he have stayed, if she said Don't go? He wonders...) ]

[ The evening before he's meant to catch his train, though, he finds himself at the docks. Leaning against the rusted railing, he regards the lush green speck of Air Temple Island. The sun charts a course behind banks of iron-grey clouds. Though not especially bright, the day is pleasantly warm. The seawater doesn't glitter so much as take on a gleaming quality: long bands of ribbed light run across its waves the way light hits the reflective surface of a glass table. ]

[ It's unpretentiously beautiful, and Hei realizes he'll miss it. Realizes the city has sunk a bright hook into his chest, as surely as the constellation of red dots that link a part of his psyche to Korra -- as if she's a glittering lure from the dark sea depths, and he's the blindsided barracuda that opened his maw and bit. ]

Comments

[anatural]

Ahhh... [Her eyes flutter shut as he hits upon that good spot on her neck. She turns her head to kiss the hands cupping her cheeks (and also to give him better access to her neck). Her toes curl with pleasure. She wants to let her hands wander, but they're in public. Behave, she reminds herself.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Her sigh, the way she rolls her head to kiss his palms, feeds a fizzy, sudsy bath-bubble sensation in his veins. His eyes are open, a close-range glint of blue to watch her captivating expressions, but also to stay alert for any passersby. But the spot remains deserted; nothing but the gentle susurration of trees, the air laced with the heavy sweetish aroma of jasmine. ]

[ Humming, he nuzzles her throat, dipping his tongue into the bowl above her clavicle. Moves lower, lazily kissing her breasts through her shirt. He wishes he could impress upon her, how much he'll miss this -- miss her -- when he's away. In moments like these, it's easy to imagine that Korra can actually understand what he is thinking, feeling. When they are this close, barely a whisper between them, no barriers but fabric and skin, his affections are obvious. ]

[anatural]

[Not as obvious as he thinks. She's well aware how easily he lies, and how liking her body is not the same as caring about her. She's pretty sure he cares about her, but it's hard to feel certain, especially with him leaving for so long. It goes against the standards of every relationship she's ever witnessed, every (limited) understanding of how they work.

She tugs him backwards, until her knees hit the small bench and she lands on it with a thud, more enthusiasm than grace.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei wishes he could reassure her, in the moments when doubt encroaches. Do something to ease that dark dip of her lashes, the little warble in her voice. It's true, the affection he bears for anyone isn't the same vein that they'd carry for him in return. And this stuttered uncertainty between them goes way back, maybe too far back to fix entirely; it is like fabric with a hundred tiny rips in it, each one carefully mended, but coming undone again as the fabric strains. Hei isn't going to give in, though. Of all the people he's met in the City, Korra is like his favorite shirt, no matter how things change; even when she looks at him with a certain big-eyed anxiety, like a little girl who believes no one loves her. ]

[ Things have never been as simple as they seem between them, anyway. Korra, he thinks. Korra has never been so simple. ]

[ She yanks him back, and he spills obligingly across her -- his body a warm heavy drape, his kisses silky and sipping. One hand spanning down her spine to keep her anchored close, while the other slips under her shirt, pushing it up along her ribs, fingertips skimming the warm skin. Not a demand, but a careful exploration. ]

[alittlebent]

[She slips her hands under the waistband of his pants. She teases the skin of his lower back with her nails, dragging them just hard enough to leave red trails behind, though she can't see them. It's kind of hot that way, this is a secret just for them.

It also reminds her of something very important, and she reluctantly pulls back from the kiss just a little, just enough to speak.]

We can't take anything off.

[He may be able to get dressed again in two seconds and look completely innocent, but Korra doesn't have that kind of luck. Especially since she is wearing her usual undergarments and not the easy-on-easy-off bra & panties that had become a staple for her in the City.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei stretches against her as she drags her nails down his spine, a shiver rolling up his legs and through his gut, which clenches as gooseflesh breaks out on his arms. When she draws back to lay the rules down, it's tempting to sulk. It's still not in his nature to deny himself when he can simply take. But drawing the minutes out with Korra, unspooling each fiber of time until it trembles, is never not fun, and the sense of softness Hei feels slides under his skin and makes a home there. Tracing the circumference of her lovely waist, he slips his hands under her shirt, up to her swathed breasts. Soothes the itch in his palms, kneading the pillowy flesh through the skin-warmed fabric, grazing his thumbs over her covered nipples until they perk up like little soldiers. ]

[ When he kisses her again, it's slow and heavy, pressing his tongue between those pretty lips and eating her up -- wet biting gulps. When he speaks, his mouth stays close enough to taste her breath, their lips touching, ]

But I'd like to be wearing something of yours when I leave.

[ ...No, he doesn't mean her clothes. ]

[anatural]

[That's a level of entendre you can't expect her to pick up on when you're touching her like that. She gives him a look of genuine confusion.]

Like what, my tank top?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei can't help it. He laughs, even if it's just a short, soundless Hah of air. His lips are still curved when he catches her mouth with his, and their torsos and hips and knees kiss through the friction of clothing, at once tantalizing and terrible. Beneath her shirt, his fingers roam up and down, exploring the scratchy swathes of bandages, kneading the shape of her breasts, before one hand dips across the warm shoal of her belly to slip under the waistband of her slacks. Slipping it between her legs, he cups the humid fabric of her underwear, squeezing the rough curls and soft flesh there. His fingers tease the damp material, pulling it tight against her, tugging it into her slit. ]

I had something better in mind.

[anatural]

[She wriggles and squirms, but she's still not catching on.]

........you want my underwear?

[This is both hot and really weird.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei raises an eyebrow, a mutely amused incredulity at how clueless she can still be. His fingers nudge against the fabric of her underwear and slide past the cleft until he finds her clit. It is easy to fix on -- hot and slick through the seeping material, a soft pulse under his fingertip. He circles it slowly, crooking one knee between hers, urging her to spread her legs a little. His own heartbeat is a racing thrum in his veins, the fit of his trousers uncomfortably tight as his erection burgeons against her. ]

[ Pressing a small wet kiss at the corner of her mouth, he breathes, ]

I'm more interested in what's under it.

[alittlebent]

Clothes. Stay. On. [Who knows how recognizable those are as words, gasped out as they are It's a difficult conviction to hold onto when he's rubbing that particular spot, but she REALLY does not want to put her clothes back on in a hurry if someone comes by.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei hitches a shoulder, an unspoken If you say so. But he doesn't stop working her with his hands. He kneads at the breast in his right palm, thumb rolling across the nipple under the rough swathes and feeling it perk at the touch, while his right hand continues to rub the moist gusset of her shorts against the swollen nub of her clit. He loves the way her words are stuttered between scoops of air; loves the steady eager heat she's kicking off, a glow that squirms into his veins, surfs to his heart, and blooms into something bittersweet. He wants more than anything to peel her clothes off, to shuck off his own. To part her thighs and sink into the welcome slickness between them, let that rock-and-roll of their bodies tell its own story. But it's too risky out here. This isn't the City. ]

[ Instead, he kisses her, his whole body getting harder, achy. Not knowing when he'll get the chance to have this again, the knowledge cresting hard surges of want through him. ]

[alittlebent]

[She does say so, and you better not forget it, Hei, or she will punch you in the face and other soft places.

But as long as you behave... She reaches down into his pants and starts stroking.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She wedges her hand between them, fondling the bulge in his trousers, and Hei exhales a low hum into her mouth, licking up the smudges of it with his tongue along hers. There's no way he can stand such a prolonged attention, though; not unless he wants stains all over his nice new suit. Bright sunlight petals through the tree branches, and he draws back to gulp in air, to take in the sight of Korra sprawled beneath him on the rough wooden bench, her eyes like the color of a perfectly blue sky -- that scintillating blue that comes on the heels of a bad storm. She feels so good, warm ripe flesh and soft slick skin under his hands, and despite how many times they've done this, perfunctory or hyperfocused, frantic or languid, it's always been a build-up from step A to step B. ]

[ This time, though, he's aware he can't take things further. The knowledge is both frustrating yet crazily alluring at the same time. His hands, working on her breasts, teasing between her thighs, stroke and squeeze, going harder as his excitement grows. He eases close again to feed on her mouth, small playful sucks, tracing the sweet curve of her lips with his tongue. Almost an experiment, to see how she reacts to the innocuous touches, to see how worked up he can get her without going for the jugular. ]

[anatural]

[The answer? Pretty damn worked up. At one point he chances upon a particularly good spot and she lets out a choked scream. ]

Shit, did you hear that?

[Korra freezes as she hears people approaching the gazebo. No. No no no no no no. They are NOT going to get caught like this. In full fight-or-flight mode, she shoves Hei off of her and rolls off of the bench, instinctively trying to hide under it.]

[mortemscintilla]

 [ Hei hears the unwelcome voices, drifting closer and closer. Given the venue, it's not entirely surprising -- he's forgotten, in the wake of Korra's Avatar status -- what privacy and obscurity are. What's he's not expecting, though, is the way Korra shoves him off and tries to scramble under the bench. Catching himself mid-stumble, Hei blinks, straightening in time to see a couple approaching, a little girl swinging between their arms. ]

[ On reflex, he bestows a perfunctory, plastic smile at them. The couple return it, albeit more reservedly; the woman keeps glancing around as if expecting to see a bloodied corpse nearby. Meanwhile the little girl, clutching her mother's hand, keeps turning to scrutinize him. When he waggles his fingers, the girl swivels her head away quickly, laying her curls against the side of her mother's coat to hide her face. A few seconds later she peeps again, her eyes bright. She seems to judge him worthy enough of a show, and raises her mother's hand as high as she can over her head to pirouette and then pose, slim as a needle under a phonograph arm. ]

Ju. [ The mother, distracted and already drifting away with her husband, yanks her daughter's arm. ] Behave!

[ Silently, Hei watches them shuffle off. Once they're out of sight, he pauses, hunkering down by the bench to meet Korra's eyes with his own dimly-twinkling ones. ]

Villains of the world, beware.

[anatural]

[Korra flinches and buries her head under her arms as she hears the little girl, mortified about what almost happened. She'd never be able to show her face anywhere again if a little kid saw her having sex. That was just all kinds of not okay.

Hei's amusement does not impress her.]

I'm the Avatar! I can't be caught having sex by little girls!

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei smiles. He can't help it. He was tense all over from the interruption before, vibrating at a high voltage. Yet now, indulgent thoughts are pressing up like puppies at a window, wagging for his attention, distracting him. It doesn't help that Korra's efforts at secrecy are usually far more endearing than her heroic ones. ]

Right. I forgot you're an inspiration to the midgets. [ Like late-nineties Britney? In a voice that is light, full of bullshit, he feigns a glance over his shoulder, pretending to be worried: ] Guess you better be mindful. Spies all around. No way of telling when one of them files a report to Tenzin.

[anatural]

[Korra climbs up and brushes the dirt off her pants.]

Don't even JOKE about that. I wouldn't be surprised if he did pay somebody to follow me. He's gone completely off the deep end.

[Either that or her time in the City has created a divide between them that can never be bridged. Korra doesn't like fighting with Tenzin. They've had their disagreements before, but never like this. She's always been largely obedient to him because she's always trusted his judgement and wisdom. She always felt safe with him because he was an adult and knew what needed to be done.

She can still find traces of that wise mentor now, but more than anything else she sees a terrified man grasping desperately at some semblance of control. A man who doesn't understand what's going on. And when he looks at her, it feels like he's not seeing her, but the Korra who should be there.
]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Diplomatically, Hei reaches out and plucks a twig from Korra's hair. Sunlight fills in the gaps between the trees with waves of mellow gold. Each time she gripes about Tenzin, it's easy to see Pai -- wilful and surly as she'd argued with him about curfew, tracking devices, chores -- superimposed. Indifferent as he is to Tenzin's situation, part of him can understand how the older man feels. He thinks, absurdly, of the days in Heaven's War, when each recruit was allotted a small bag of flour for his rations. Hei always tried to take good care of the flour. But back in those days, he'd had a condition of permanently sweaty hands. A stress-response; it couldn't be helped. Every time he touched the sack, it got wet. It started to come apart. He'd tell himself to stop fussing with it, but he couldn't help it. He'd keep touching it just to know it was there and safe. It ripped a little and then a little more until it finally split right open. ]

[ Sure. It was just a stupid sack of flour. But the point was that sometimes the more you cared for something, the more damage you did. Not on purpose. You just ended up hurting the things you loved because you tried too hard. That's what Tenzin does with Korra -- and what Hei used to do with Pai. He wanted her to be so safe that it ended up hurting her in its own way. But deep down, he can understand the fear. It's the hardest thing in the world, caring for someone. Trying to make sure that person doesn't come to harm. ]

[ Quietly, ]

He just has trouble understanding that your lives have diverged. That your ... adventures aren't his. I guess with how different you both are, you've never shared a common language. But now you lack even the context to make translations.

[anatural]

[Korra sighs and rubs the back of her neck.]

So what am I supposed to do about it?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei pauses, gathering his thoughts. Korra's expression has taken on a thin, wavery edge of indecision and second-guessing. He's been there so often himself once upon a time, he knows that tune by heart. (Still, it's surreal, giving her even a fragment of advice. Especially when he has no more moral sense than a Lost Boy.) ]

[ He exhales, his voice softening. ]

Remind him that you [ spent months fending for yourself, confused, dreaming, morally adrift, missing home and family like crazy ] haven't forgotten him. The reason he's being such a pain is because he's afraid he's redundant now.

[anatural]

[She shakes her head.]

He knows I haven't forgotten him. [Whatever he's afraid of, it's not being redundant. A train whistle blows, drawing her attention.]

You should catch your train.

[mortemscintilla]

[ No, Hei doesn't quite think that's what Tenzin's afraid of, either. He's noticed it before: the stifled flickers of desperation in the older man, the frantic way he harangues Korra about meditation and spiritualism. Almost like a parent trying to vicariously live their unfulfilled dreams through their child. As if whatever Korra's failing at, is something Tenzin's failed at himself, and doesn't dare give voice to. Because parents -- guardians -- hold an intrinsic need to believe in the essential invincibility of their protege: the child is a direct reflection of themselves, after all. Only better, because they'll never make the mistakes their elders have. Or so the delusion goes. ]

[ Hei doesn't say that, though. Instead, distracted by the shrill screech of the train, he murmurs, ]

Yeah.

[ It's casual. But a quiet tension pulls at his brows like a needle drawing thread. ]

[anatural]

[She reaches out to take his hand.]

Can I walk you there?

[There's a tug at her chest, knowing that it's really happening.]