Setting: after the City

[anatural]

THE GIST
When the door out ofpoly_chromatic is finished, Korra invites Hei to join her in her world. He brings a few other people along with him.

CHARACTERS
Korra | anatural
Jinora | bookbending
Hei | mortemscintilla
Yin | moonlitrequiem
Mao | maoser

Comments

[alittlebent]

On the off-chance... Yin is my friend! What kind of person do you think I am? And that's not even the point. If it was that important to you, you could have told me you wouldn't come without her. You could have gone somewhere else if I was really as horrible as you seem to think I am. But you can't not talk to me.

[Who knows how much of that Hei actually catches; she's too upset to moderate her language. (There may also be a small, childish sense of if he’s not going to be mindful of my feelings, why should I be mindful of him?)]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Korra's voice is a current of heat in the air. Hei breathes out slowly, feeling like there are grey swirls of smoke blooming in the space between them. Her words are a wash-in-wash-out of noise, too blurred together. They tumble untidily past his ears into the space of his brain, so he needs a moment to untangle them, like a clump of sonic wires. Part of him knows the smart thing would be to apologize -- or pretend to. Pretty lies beat the tedious truth each and every time. But he's unwilling to treat her that way anymore. Granted, omission is just as bad as manipulation. But she needs to understand that he doesn't know how to operate on the brash honesty Korra wears with the same blitheness as her skin. ]

[ In a voice that's as careful as it is halting, ]

I don't think you're horrible. And I know I should have told you. But -- [ His brow creases, lip bit. ] You have to understand. I couldn't take her back home. They're all dead -- everyone we knew there. I as good as led them to their deaths. I didn't want ... I had to take her somewhere completely different. But also where people like us [ strange how easy that word comes: us ] wouldn't be hunted. Your world was -- is -- the best option. If I told you, I would have been pressuring you. And if I said I wouldn't go without Yin, it would've sounded like an ultimatum.

[ He lets off a tired breath, cutting his gaze away. ]

Besides. You have a million reasons to be suspicious of me. I didn't want to make things any harder than they already were.

[alittlebent]

An ultimatum would have been better than this. [At least with an ultimatum, she would've had a say in the matter. It's not like she had invited him to come here because she couldn't live without him.] I just --

[The gong sounds again, signaling the end of morning meditations and the start of breakfast. She stands up, not even angry anymore, just sad. It's not even an emotion; it's more like a leech on her back.]

I have to meditate. Tell Pema I'll eat breakfast later.

[mortemscintilla]

Korra --

[ The gong cuts him off, bright and thrumming through the air. In its wake, he watches something in Korra diffuse, a quiet sadness seeping across her face. When she gets up, he's prepared to nod and let her go. But he also realizes that it's impossible to want so desperately for them to have something better than endless bickering and mistrust when he is always carrying the resignation of that scenario's impossibility inside him. He wants to be honest with her, yes, but he cannot give up the control that being honest entails. He has to stop constructing rules for himself, and clinging to them doggedly because, without them, he fears the whole of his existence will collapse in chaos. ]

[ Reaching out, he curls his fingers lightly around her wrist. Not restraint, but a clear sign that he's not yet ready for her to go. ]

[ Gently, but with a directness that cuts to the quick of her insecurities: ]

If you think I brought Yin here because there's something going on between us, it isn't true.

[ It's a half-truth: his feelings for Yin encompass considerably beyond what one feels for a teammate. But he has no intention of screwing things up by acting on those feelings. That's as much for Yin's sake and Korra's -- as it is for his own sanity. ]

[alittlebent]

[One of them, anyway. She's got insecurities to spare. She doesn't jerk her wrist away, but she doesn't seem soothed by it.]

I know. She told me. [She says it as though that had never been an issue for her, even though it very much had been. It just pales in comparison to that issue of choice.]

I've been telling her for months that she should confess to the guy that she liked. She never mentioned that he was seeing someone else. Did she even know about us, or was that how she found out too? Because that's cruel.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Because that's cruel. For a moment Hei feels a bristle of irritation, but he smoothes it over, reminding himself she's not out of line. Lightly, his thumb strokes the juncture of veins at her wrist -- but it's more contemplative than caressing. In the bright sunlight, Korra has the same oval-boned face as a lot of Water Tribe women he's seen in Republic City -- a startling contrast of dark skin and blue, blue eyes. But the difference is in everything going on under that surface, nuances expressed in the smallest movements and dilations, like a secret code only he can parse. Despite the charged atmosphere, the awkward conversation, he thinks it's so good just to be this close to her, to see the blue coins of light glinting in each of her eyes. ]

[ After a beat, he slots his fingers through hers. Keeps his gaze on the interlaced digits, light on dark, when he speaks, ]

She's known for a while.

[ What Hei didn't realize -- not until it was too late -- was that she had feelings for him that were entirely removed from Doll-like limitations. Feelings that, if circumstances were different, if he weren't so taken with Korra, he might've allowed to develop into something stronger. Might have reciprocated. ]

[ His voice is logy, as if his throat is packed in wool. ] I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her. [ It was operational necessity, fine. But Korra had earned at least a fraction of trust. She deserved it, whatever his reservations. ]

[alittlebent]

[She thaws a little at the apology, signaling her forgiveness with a gentle squeeze of his hand. The sadness is still there, leeching away at her energy, but she tells herself that at least they're all safe. However she feels about how Yin came along, she's glad that the other girl isn't alone or somewhere dangerous. (Besides, Pema seems to adore her.)]

I don't want any more secrets like that.

[mortemscintilla]

[ She squeezes his hand, and there's a sudden looseness of the locked feeling in his chest, like a cork being popped. It's a quiet print of warm lips when he kisses the center of her palm, curling his fingers in a light squeeze around hers before letting go. ]

There won't be.

[ At least not where another girl is concerned. Monogamy is, in many ways, an impractical concept for Hei. Somewhere deep in most people's hearts lies a forlorn belief that they alone should be enough for the person they love. Consequently, they keep getting hurt. Because no one, alone, is ever enough for anyone else. And even if no one strays physically, they'll stray mentally, or cyberwise, or whatever other way their guilt ridden brains can manage it. ]

[ Still, if Hei can choose a path that will offer Korra the least amount of disappointment and heartbreak, he'll take it. ]

[ As to other secrets, well. Most she's too young and sheltered to even comprehend. Others she'd never be able to accept without wrenching away from him in horror. Those, he'll do his best to protect her from. But at the end of the day, secrets are your armor and leverage. Abandon them and you're at the mercy of the elements. ]

[alittlebent]

[Notice how she said like that. She knows better than to think Hei will never keep a secret from her ever again. But she doesn't want more secrets that will deprive her of the ability to choose. She doesn't want to feel like she's not a person to him.]

Try not to hog all the food at breakfast. [The smile she offers him is a little weak but wholly sincere.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She is a person to him. A terrible, beautiful, wonderful, profoundly aggravating person. No one can quite torment him like Korra. But it's also true that it's not always possible to 'see' the person you want as they see themselves. It's difficult to translate the interior to the exterior or vice versa. It's two different channels of reality. But Hei has been trained to peek in and see, at least as far as he can, what other people are seeing on that Other channel. It doesn't always fully translate, but it can inform him. It can give him a little more data than he has at his disposal if he doesn't look at all. ]

[ So he tucks this conversation carefully away, his brain buzzing through its programming before it returns him to homeostasis. The smile he offers her is more solid, albeit restrained. ]

I'd hog less of it if I got omelette or congee once in a while.

[ A man needs protein, okay? ]

[alittlebent]

[That gets a little chuckle out of her.]

You're telling me. I'd forgotten how strictly vegetarian the food here is. [Meat. Oh how she misses meat. Meatbuns. Seal jerky. Chicken skewers. Mmmmmm.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's lips twitch, not at the laughable quality of the food here so much as the warmth that Korra's chuckle sparks in his belly. In the distance, he can see a handful of air acolytes, their robes splotches of red and orange, drifting down the stone pavilion pathway. Keeping his gaze averted, he focuses on Korra, pitching his voice low. ]

We should head to the city. Sometime when Tenzin's distracted. Put a dent in the restaurants' meat supply.

[ In the short time he's been here, he's already homed in on several of the nicer eateries. ]

[alittlebent]

[It's dizzying how she can be so angry with him and then, just like that, everything is fine again. But she doesn't think too deeply about it.]

Or we could just go. It's not like he can stop us. [He wouldn't be happy about it, but Korra's long since begun to chafe under his constant supervision. Doing something despite Tenzin's wishes doesn't sound bad to her at all.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ The lack of warning between bickering and bliss, the shift without sign, or understandable symptom, never ceases to amaze Hei; the ease with which they slip back and forth between the two is sometimes frightening. But that's the way it is with them -- like a tropical storm. What makes it bearable, what makes it good, is that when the foul weather passes, it leaves something brilliant in its wake. ]

[ His face is solemn, despite the hint of irrepressible humor on his face. ]

What? Right now?

[ Not that he minds, but he can tell it's fuelled as much by a sense of childish rebellion as it is by a need to breathe on Korra's part. Tenzin may not take his disapproval out on her later, but Hei suffers no illusions that the man will begin viewing him as Public Enemy No. 1. ]

[alittlebent]

[She almost says Maybe another time, but she can hear Tenzin shouting for her and there's a sudden burst of resentment. She gets that she was missing for months and now he's paranoid, but his concern is smothering.]

Yeah. Why not? [Besides, assuming they didn't get into another explosive argument, spending time with him might help ease the ache inside she can't identify.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ A part of Hei recognizes that he shouldn't be encouraging this behavior. Not if he wants to get on Tenzin's good side (does the man even have one?). But Korra's presence fills him with a cloying bittersweetness, like dark chocolate seeped in alcohol. The idea of slipping away for a while, unencumbered by plans and schedules and the stagnant routines of the island -- getting lost, staying lost -- it is so hideously tempting. ]

[ There's a beat, before Hei thumbs his books shut, setting them neatly aside. ]

All right.

[ Hopefully they won't send out a search party. ]

[alittlebent]

[You should at least tell Tenzin where you’re going, a part of her thinks, but that would give him the chance to say "no." And then they'd fight, and she's tired of fighting, and she's tired of reporting to him like she isn't someone who lived for a year and a half without adult supervision.

So she just reaches out for his hand.]

Come on. I think the ferry's leaving soon.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei wonders if it feels like a doll's house to her -- trying to fit into the neat little cubbyholes of her usual girly, daughterly life. As if she hasn't spent the past year by herself, making her own choices for better or worse, smearing blood on her hands, dropping in and out of jail cells, rubbing shoulders with killers, engaging in risky sex in twice as risque venues. Now here she is, buzzing like a honeybee trapped in a tin can. It's how Pai must've felt, he realizes, when she'd been tossed back to the City. Going from escape velocities and glorious bloodbaths to careful schedules in suffocating suburbia. No wonder she'd been miserable. ]

[ He doesn't say any of that, though. Just threads his fingers through Korra's. ]

[ It feels both juvenile and naughty, slipping off the island and onto a boat. The sun has slid across the sky to hang above the blue-green columns of skyscrapers -- a study of sharp angles and clean lines. To the north the Silk Road Bridge is bent against the sky, pale sunlight winking off its spine. As they near the city, approaching the dock, the boat splashes through waves shimmering with chemical rainbows -- like any industrial town, there will be dumpsites near the waterline, and old poisons always bubbling up. ]

[ Stepping off the gangplank, the air crisply salted in his lungs, Hei glances at Korra. ]

Pick a direction.

[alittlebent]

[They don't talk much on the boat ride over, which is kind of nice. It feels like the only thing she's done more than meditate since coming home has been talking, telling the same stories over and over again. It's nice to just sit on the boat, listen to the waves, and simply be. It's almost disappointing when they reach the shore, like a return to reality. Everybody in Republic City knows what she looks like, who she is. She instinctively takes out her ponytail, her hairpieces, and even her armband, and shoves them in her pocket. Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't, but it's the best disguise she has right now.

He asks his question and she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then points in a random direction.]

That way.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Korra points in the direction of the marketplace, and Hei hitches a shoulder in agreement. There's a blink as she lets her hair tumble loose, and slips off the signature armband, before it dawns: Oh. Right. While Hei operates on security through obscurity, he recognizes that it's not so simple for Korra. In this city, she's iconic. Like a rock star or a high paid athlete, with all those people wanting to know her, basking in her presence, jockeying for her attention, an explosion of media flashbulbs, newspaper articles and radio shows erupting in her wake. It is discomfiting, alarming. In some ways, he supposes there are benefits to the remoteness of Air Temple Island, and the privacy it offers. ]

[ Still, privacy is one thing. Isolation is another. ]

[ Slipping her arm through his, he takes her at a steady clip through the streets. All around them, the buildings shoot up in jigsaw columns, the tips of golden spires and the wings of the swallowtail roofs standing out sharply against the edgeless blue. In contrast, the market is close and hot-packed -- stuffed to the brim with brilliant colors. The stalls -- selling everything from bootlegged rice wine to spices to fruits to fresh fish to antiques to clothes -- are having volume wars as the faded cotton awnings flap in the breeze. It reminds Hei of the Ameyoko alley in Tokyo. He plunges into the warren of stalls, heading for the heart of the market, Korra's hand in his. Among the jostling pedestrians, hidden by the hypnotic barrage of sensory stimuli, it's easier to blend in. Fans of stick-incense in rich jewel colors flash past, replaced by highly polished bronze statuettes and burners that gleam as the sunlight strikes them. Kimonos and scarves of every multicolor hue and weave drift by and over them. ]

[ Stopping at a particularly chock-full stall, Hei glances at Korra. ]

You'll need a disguise.

[alittlebent]

[She's already wearing a fake mustache.]

Like this?

[mortemscintilla]

[ He blinks, blank-faced. ]

Not unless you're aiming for the post-op ladyboy look.

[ He fingers the silk weaves on the rack full of scarves. Putters around, choosing from pink to pale green to midnight blue, until he settles on a bright red number with gold and silver embroidered paisleys in the Fire Nation style. In addition, he buys a dark, wide-brimmed hat with a bright sprig of carnations pinned to the base, and two plain metal hairpins. The harried-looking stall owner seems mightily relieved to be selling something to him after having to put up with his obsessive pawing of her merchandise. Turning to Korra, Hei gestures, ]

Turn around. I'll pin your hair up.

[ Face it. With, or without the distinctive triple-ponytail combination, she's pretty easy to recognize. ]

[alittlebent]

You're no fun. [Half-hearted grumble as she puts the mustache away. Not even a smile? Tough crowd. She makes a little face at the hat he picks up, but lets him do what he will with her hair. He's the master of disguise, after all.]

[mortemscintilla]

That's why I keep you around.

[ It's quiet and dry, but there's a dim spark of amusement in Hei's eyes. Korra can't see it, of course. But the old woman at the stall -- short and stocky with a dark, high-cheekboned face -- watches them with an unabashed humor. Or is it satire? Hei has a feeling she already knows all about who Korra is, and what they're trying to accomplish. ]

[ Pinning Korra's hair in a tight updo, he leaves a few dark waves floating around her shoulders. Settles the hat on her head, angled rakishly so her face is bisected by the line of shade made by the brim. Unfurling the red scarf he drapes it around her neck, cool silk on warm skin. Almost playfully, he holds each end, sliding it ticklishly back and forth over her nape before he ties it in a neat knot. The woman at the stall cackles, saying something in the sharp city dialect, but as Hei's listens to the words, he begins to pick up the nuances in the tones and pronunciation that make this speech pattern similar to the Wu dialect of Shanghai and the more standard Mandarin back in his world. ]

[ Then he realizes she's saying, That's how boys in my village would declare themselves to a girl. ]

[ Trying not to blanch, he edges back. Clearing his throat, he gestures Korra to a small mirror hanging on the awning. ]

Well?

[alittlebent]

[Korra, for whom the City dialect is quite familiar (if not native), has already gone gray. Why would you say things like that?!]

Yeah. Looks great. Let's go. [She doesn't want to stick around to hear whatever raunchy comment the woman clearly looks ready to make.]