Who cares what picture you see?

[mortemscintilla]

WHO: Korra and Hei
WHAT: Two crazy kids catch a movie. This thread is about a millimeter deep.

[ A new Mover. Faster Nuktuk! Kill! Kill! The title alone doesn't bear thinking of. Scorpions crawling around in his boxers sound more fun. Hei has no idea why he agreed to go. But Korra assured him it wasn't a four-hour epic, and that if he got too bored they could slip away. With reluctance, but aware of certain unpaid debts of boyfriendly attention, he agreed. ]

[ Since Yin's return, he knows he hasn't been spending as much time with her as he ought to. Too busy setting up living arrangements for his friend, trying without words to bridge the gap of three inexplicable years, to make sure she's safe and -- yes, happy. Because she's wasted eerily away since they've been apart, a dull-eyed washed-out husk of herself. Too Doll-like to fill him with anything but dread. ]

[ The past few weeks, he's compensated by paying her steady attention. Until she understands that he's not going anywhere, until she feels entitled to his time as a friend should. He encourages her to listen to radio broadcasts for events, so she'll be prepared with suggestions about what they might do. He gets her audio books in cassettes, a small, ornately-carved zither to play tunes on, practices his increasingly-spotty German on her, gently coaxes her out to eat all sorts of unthinkable things: arctic hen testicles, jelly of turtleduck, thousand year old eggs. He's not sure the outings make a lick of a difference. But last week, Yin was actually the one to initiate their always-brief, one-sentence conversations, rather than the other way around. Hei takes that as a good sign. ]

[ Tonight, the air carries a chill, and Korra is sunshine temperature, a little waft of summer walking at his side. Hei lets his hand curl around hers, tucking them both with a habitual air into his coat pocket. Also with a habitual air, he scans the street as they drift through the crowd, checking ambush positions, logging exits and hideaways, with the practiced nonchalance of an ex-Syndicate op. Everything looks fine. ]

[ By degrees, he allows his tension to thaw, until it is no more than a small shard lodged in his guts. The theater lies ahead, its marquee of lights boxing in the words Nuktuk like the moral of a Sunday sermon on a church sign. A knot of people wait outside; families jawing amiably, children squealing, teenagers boiling over with hormone-driven energy, giggling and jostling one another. Surrounded on all sides by normal, Hei feels wariness tugging his brows like needle with a thread. But Korra's scent is a sweet tickle in his nose, her fingers delicate, yet comfortingly strong in his, and her soft prattle laps richly at his ear, grounding his scattershot senses. ]

[ Squeezing her hand, he edges in closer. His voice is wary, interest hidden under a hard shell. ]

Is this the theater where they use real butter for the popcorn?

Comments

[anatural]

[It will never be like it was in the City, no — but while Korra sometimes misses the freedom, being able to do wild and crazy and kinky things, not having to worry about who sees her... she's happier here than she ever was there. She's happier with Hei here than she ever was in the City, even during their best days there. She isn't his pet or his doll here. They're actually partners.

She snorts at his unexpected answer. Like she'd let him die. He's dating the master of four elements — jumping off Aang's statue is practically a joke.]

Let's do it! [And she drags him in the direction of the bay.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Odd to imagine, if the coin in their relation had flipped another way -- But no, what is the point of it? It isn't innocent randomness that has arranged his life -- or hers. The pattern of his particles, his foibles, his interests, his partners, is no accident. Korra had begun first in his life as a substitute, a fill-in for the enormous vacuum Pai had left behind. But she'd been much more complicated to label than just that. For all her naivety, her childlike limitations, she'd been capable of operations of great emotional delicacy. She'd surprised him over and over -- unbending and unfurling to suit the moment while he'd remained trapped by Shouldn't be's and Mustn't be's, cages if inhibitions and mistrust, boxes of words, his own rigid conditions for being together, for their relationship. She'd coaxed him away from the steely spycraft clamping down his brain -- and that is what is the most unnerving of all. He'll never stop feeling unequal to all the things she's done for him. ]

[ Like now. Indulging his madcap whim. ]

[ He lets her drag him off, amused but not showing it. They drift down the berm to the shoreline, near the foot of Aang's statue. Stars hover at the eastern horizon, casting slivers of metallic light on the water: the air is weighed by a shivery pale mist that feels good on the skin. ]

[ Tipping his head back, Hei squints at the peak of the statue -- green-lit and monolithic. ]

Planning to airbend us to the top? Or taking the elevator like normal people?

[ As if normal people jump off statues. ]

troll response is troll

[anatural]

I could use my firebending to shoot us up like a rocket. [BIG GRIN]

>3

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei eyes her like she's suggested cutting off an ear. ]

I'll pass.

[ re: I have no idea how familiar you are with Newton's Second Law. (He doesn't want to die before he's even made it to the top, Korra.) ]

[anatural]

[OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH. SHE'S BEEN A HUMAN ROCKET BEFORE. But fine, whatever, they can do it your way if you don't want to live.]

So that's your vote for the elevator? [She freezes the surface water of the bay so they can skate across to the island Aang's memorial stands on. Who wants to wait for the ferry? She leads him down onto the ice, bending enough friction so that they don't slip. Mommy, that’s the Avatar! Korra grins and waves at a little girl standing at the dock, waiting for the ferry.]

Don't try this at home!

[mortemscintilla]

[ UNDER DURESS. IT DOES NOT COUNT. ]

[ He descends with her onto the flat opaque sheet of ice. The waves of water are a rippled distortion beneath the sugared glaze. Threading his fingers through Korra's, he watches with the barest hint of a smile as the little girl gawps at them. Moments like these, he can't help but envy her fixed purpose, the way she's fitted so perfectly into her role, her self -- even as he quietly laments his own aimlessness, the way he's trying to salvage the wreckage of his aborted life but unable to find a real niche for himself. He wants to be better, saner and steadier, like Korra: he wants to take things as they come; to let go and move on, but in the most driven way; to bend with life's blows and grow stronger instead of more jagged-edged and bitter. ]

[ Too bad he has no idea where to start. ]

[ Maybe that's why he's doing something as stupid as leaping off that towering statue. A special breed of people try these things: suicides, failed daredevils, boozesoaked ruins. He's been all three, at some point in his life. Maybe this is his way of posing a dare to the powers that be. I'm here, I'm durable, I'm wasting precious time. Give me something to do. ]

[ Or it could be he's overstating it. Maybe it's just the thing to do on those blistering-cold days when the chill hangs forever and the monotony makes you a bit crazy. ]

[anatural]

[Shut up it totally does.

They reach the shore of the island and Korra lifts them out of the water and deposits them on land with a little unnecessary flourish, because it's fun. The island's custodian starts to tell them the place is closed, but stops as soon as he recognizes the Avatar. She tells him to lock up, they just want to look around a bit, and because she's the Avatar, he does. Of course, they still have to wait for him to do that. Wait for him to cross the bay. Wait to make sure there'd be no witnesses.]

You know, we could've skipped all this if you let me rocket.

[mortemscintilla]

You take too many shortcuts.

[ Learn to appreciate the excruciating slowness of normalcy, like the rest of the mere mortals. ]

[ He waits patiently until the custodian ferries off. Then it's just a matter of the dreamily long elevator ride. At the apex of the statue, Republic City is a cluster of twinkling lights, shaped into a sprawling star. The sky above it seems composed of overlapping blue-to-purple-colored curtains. Carefully, Hei steps toward the edge. The wind fills his ears, a cold, storm-bearing swirl. Below, the drop into the dark water is disorienting. Hei just smiles against the melancholic ennui that feathers against him like powdery snow. How long has it been since he'd stopped feeling vertiginous at the very tip of a drop? Since the freefall became nothing but a way to cut fastest from point A to point B? ]

[ He's stopped experiencing life, even at its furthest ambit where the definitions are most powerful. ]

[ Kicking his boots off, he shrugs away his coat and peels his shirt over his head. The pale starlight glints off the roping scars on his goose-fleshed torso and the indentation of the faded verminox scar on his arm. Tiptoeing to the ledge, he glances sideways at Korra, ]

Going to watch, or join in?

[anatural]

Excuse me for being efficient.[She grumbles affectionately. She doesn't mind the wait — it's a nice night, the island is quiet, and she likes just being there with him. She leans against his arm as they head up to the top.

She just leans back and enjoys the view as Hei strips down to just his pants.]

I'll watch to make sure you don't kill yourself. [Just a joke, of course. A prepared fall like this wouldn't hurt him. But she doesn't want to do this with him. She gets the feeling sometimes that he needs something all his own. As small and silly as this is... let it be his.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei tips a shoulder, a noncommittal Suit yourself, but there is a quiet gratitude tucked away behind his smile. She's being indulgent of his idiotic fancy -- and while it should make him uncomfortable, like a spoiled child allowed to enjoy one last carnival ride, all he feels is thankful. He doesn't know how to explain to her -- the little gestures and commonplace risks that act as his bridge between a world of perfect spycraft and the messy, spontaneous, open-ended world everyone else inhabits. He doesn't have to explain it. ]

[ Body angled, he makes an arrow of himself. Night breeze ruffles his hair to bring up goose pimples and the darkness is such that the water can't be seen, only heard, a throaty rush that his bare skin feels in an acute contact high. Perched on the verge of a blackness so deep it should be like leaping into everlasting night or into death itself. ]

[ It isn't. But wouldn't it be interesting if it was? ]

[ When he leaps, it's legs-first, arms crossed over his chest so he falls as if tipped dead from a coffin. Such a short fall for such a yawning distance, yet it's a shot of pure adrenaline. Then he's underwater, bitingly cold and dark, and everything disappears -- sky, stars, city, self. On the surface, barely a ripple spreads where he's dropped in. It's a given that generally you surface forty yards from where you've dropped in. He doesn't, though. The water's shimmering surface stays unbroken. ]

[ (Try not to worry, Korra. He can hold his breath an admirably long time.) ]

[anatural]

[Korra's heart clenches, just a little, as he goes plummeting over the edge, even as she knows he's going to be okay. She's seen him do crazy shit before — swinging from building to building, taking risks that seem insane as easily as you walk out the front door of your house.

She strolls to the edge, peering down to make sure she doesn't need to bend the water before he breaks the surface. She barely sees him slide in, he makes so little impact on the water. She watches and waits for him to come up.

And waits.

And...waits. He's fine. She knows he's fine. But that's still a really long time in the water.]

Shoot.

[She shrugs off her coat and dives after him. Just in case.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Upon impact, the icy water had sent a rolling tide of gooseflesh up Hei's body. But the chill is gone now, water warm, the temperature of blood. He lets himself go, not diving but merely sinking. His nose is filled with the taste of stirred silt and algae and salt; the weight of water forces the air from his lungs. He knows you're supposed to surface quick, to tread ashore with the strong slice of a shark's fin. If you cramp up or get licked by a ripcurl you'll be sucked into the break where bay meets sea. That far out, only the sky and water, a body gets to feeling it's filled with rocks. People drown all the time. ]

[ He doesn't want to drown. He's never been interested in going out so easy. Life never offers you free handouts. Why make it any easier for death? ]

[ Still, he stays where he is, buffeted by undercurrents, pulled deeper. Strands of hair sweep in soft arcs across his face. He floats through perfect blackness, uncertain gravity. Feeling so sweetly serene, so close to death. Close enough to taste, if death has a taste. ]

[ Then he becomes aware of body plunging near his, a blur of flailing little arms and legs distorted by motion and diffusion. Blinking, the illusion of peace dissolved, he arrows his body. Kicking with powerful strokes to the surface, hurtling up into the frigid air, the hot white stars above aligned in orbit, the distant screeching of gulls, the syncopated beat of music from one of the bayside dance-halls -- and the shape of Korra's lovely bedraggled head, the sight hitting him like a waft of pure oxygen. ]

[ He blinks a moment, confused. Then smiles an odd, inscrutable half-smile. ]

I thought you were just watching.

[anatural]

[Korra comes up with a gasp that's more relief than a need for air. Knowing that he's okay, she feels rather silly for jumping in after him. It was fun, though - the adrenaline thrill of the fall, everything disappearing until it was just her and the water rushing toward her. She grins aft him.]

I changed my mind. Couldn't let you have all the fun.

[She swims closer and wraps her arms around his neck. His skin is far too cold... That can't be good. She presses herself closer to warm them both up.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It wasn't for fun, Hei wants to tell her. Shivering, he struggles to frame an appropriate response. He wishes he could explain he's trying to see his way clear of it -- whatever It is. But each day it grows harder. Like, the things he thought possible aren't truly possible anymore, and they’ll never be again. Life doesn't speak to him the way it seems to do to Korra -- everything seeps down to a certain sublevel, then stops, frozen, as if separated by a glaze of ennui. He's struggled with it before. He's struggling now. When he does stupid things, takes crazy risks, it's because he has to jolt himself out of it. ]

[ And he still doesn't know what he's doing with her. He's afraid he'll never know it -- or understand why she keeps him around. ]

[ Except he can't say anything. Disconnected words flee through his mind. Then Korra is swimming closer, hair plastered wetly to the curve of her skull, pearlescent drops clinging to her eyelashes and rolling down her cheeks. Beautiful as a mermaid and eerie as a drowned ghost. He gathers her close, taking in slow lungfuls of the salty air, nuzzling her cheek, clammy then warm with radiant pulse. ]

[ Quietly, the lines of his face melting into a childlike smile, ]

It was fun.

[ He's not sure if he means it or not. But the movie, the popcorn, the messy quickie, the stroll for ice-cream culminating into this icier plunge ... It was definitely nice. Nice to lose track of everything except this delicious armful of girl hugged up against him. He may be bereft of a lot of things. But in this aspect, he is ridiculously lucky. ]

[anatural]

[She knows it wasn't for fun. But as close as they are, as many intimacies as they've learned to share, they both still shy away from pure expressions of sentiment. She doesn't quite want to say "you scared me" over something so trivial. But as much as she's made her peace with the wounds of the past, he's vanished too often, in too many different ways, for these things not to frighten her at least a little.

He's here now, and that's what matters. She nuzzles his shoulder.]

Want another go?

[She may or may not mean the jump.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He always finds it ironic, that though he's half-convinced that something may wrench her from him, or that he might drive her off himself, by getting everything wrong in a million explicit or undefined ways, he is the one who constantly floats away, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally. He sees the effects of it in Korra's anxiety, stronger sometimes than others, and tries his best to allay it. Because he understands how terrible it is, fearing that everything you've gotten used to might be taken away with the snap of fate's fickle fingers; the classic fear of anyone mortal and vulnerable and powerless -- but the pain is so uniquely his and Korra's. ]

[ Plumes of steam rise off his shoulders and braid from the crown of his skull. Chill wind pours across his skin, but inside there's a flicker of heat, brightening and burgeoning, at the touch of Korra's body, buoyant in the water, at the innocent delicacy of her question. ]

No. [ To the jump, at least. A beat, before he wrinkles his nose, faintly wry, almost playful. ] But somewhere dry and toasty would be nice.

[anatural]

I think that can be arranged. [She starts swimming back to the shore, without letting go of him. It should be awkward, and it kind of is, but it's also fun, moving as one tangled mass. She only lets go, reluctantly, when her feet touch sand. The night air isn't particularly cold, though it certainly feels that way with the water weighing down her clothes and skin.

Easy enough to take care of — she draws all the water off herself and Hei with her bending and returns it to the bay as a little orb that almost glows.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei watches the orb spin across the waters, absorbing the glow of starlight and casting it back brilliantly, like the glints of Korra's teeth and eyewhites, as if she's something ethereal and enchanting that has arisen to work magic from the sea-depths. Dry now, his skin and hair crisped with leftover salt, he wants a shower. But the walk back to the statue to gather his clothes and shoes seems tedious. Korra is right here, seeping warmth, close enough to touch, and a row of crusty fishing boats float near the shoreline, the starlight breaking through each ship's geometric angles, glinting off the gangplanks, and offering its own mix of illumination and concealment. ]

[ He knows it's a bad idea. There are patrolmen who take rounds of the shoreline. But the rimey sea air knocks something loose inside him, makes him feel light, giddy, almost young. Slowly, he edges closer to Korra, his movements gentle and insinuating. Presses her back against the nearest sand-crusted tree, his leg threaded between hers, and lets their mouths nudge and connect in the imperfect darkness. A seduction, but also a question. ]

[anatural]

[Once she had balked at the idea of getting intimate under the statue of her past life. Now she's a little less caught up in image and propriety and what she "should" do and how she "should" behave. And she thinks Aang would understand. This is an expression of love — raunchy, inappropriate, a little shock, but still love.

Besides, they've done a dozen other crazy things tonight. What's one more? She runs her hands up his back, lightly tracing the network of scars with her nails, and grinds against his leg. Her kiss is an enthusiastic yes to whatever he wants to suggest.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei smiles into the hot press of their mouths, his eyes glinting dryly at her from under the shadowy crowns of lashes. The tree is squat and stumpy, but with a gnarled abundance of branches pluming dense leaves overhead. Gently, he snatches at Korra's wrists, coaxing her skittering nails away from his skin before they grow too distracting. Tipping her arms overhead, he folds her fingers around the sturdiest crisscrossing branches, until she's all but balanced on her tiptoes. The position arches her body, forces her breasts out, and he smoothes the tangles of hair from her cheeks, tucking them behind her ears, until her face is a soft-blooming cipher in the wan starlight. ]

Don't move.

[ His tone is bossy and indulgent in equal parts. He stays close, his thigh still wedged between hers, offering pressure but no friction. With his fingertips, he touches her, lightly, unhurriedly, in the places that he wants to touch, which are not necessarily where she may want to be touched: the slope of belly and curving waist, the long muscles of her thighs, the sturdy calves, thumbs skimming the undersides of her buttocks, tracing the hard ridge of spine, the span of shoulderblades, all through the warm fabric of her clothes. ]

[anatural]

Heeeei... [She whines, frustrated, but obeys. The tree bark digs into her palms, encouraging her to stand even more on tiptoe to put less pressure on her hands. He's not touching her in the really good places, but she's not yet turned on enough for that to be torture.]

Explain again why you like it when I don't touch you.

[mortemscintilla]

[ He tips her a crooked little smile, but doesn't answer her. He doesn't need to. For him, it's all about maintaining the upper hand. Even as he's learnt a great deal about slackening his controlling streak, about letting go, there are times he needs to flex it. To remind them both that he's not going to hurt her. To show her, almost, that he won't (again? anymore?) abuse that fragile trust spinning skein-fine between them. ]

[ She's balanced on her tip-toes, and he can't help but admire the sight of her, tongue-tip skimming his upper-lip at the dappled fall of light and shadow, her breasts and buttocks high, her calf muscles lifted, the fabric straining across her blouse. Immobile Avatar, by goddamn Michelangelo, but with radiantly alive skin. Edging closer, he coasts his palms along her sides and behind her, pulling her against him, her breasts a soft delicious pillow-weight against his chest. Drops both hands to her ass so her hips are dragged in tight, his thigh fitted neatly between her legs. ]

[ Inhaling, Hei lets his eyelids slip half-shut and his lips open, wet and biting against her throat. She smells of sea-water and adrenaline, a musk that is deeply saltine, yet far from foul. Entrancing and bittersweet. Gnawing the curve of her neck, he dips his head. Nuzzles her breasts, then sucks wet spots at her nipples through the fabric, a sharp ring of teeth and damp friction of tongue coaxing them into a state of puckered hardness. As he works, he rocks his thigh between hers, hard long muscles against the softness of her groin, teasing out that sweet kindling heat. ]

[anatural]

[Korra draws in a long, ragged breath and lets her eyes flutter shut. She'll never understand his need for control, not really, though she's played her own control games every once in awhile. So she doesn't get the reminder or the reassurance he intends. The only message she receives from it is that he wants to run the game.

She's okay with that, though. She may not enjoy helplessness itself, but she enjoys the pleasure he gets out of it. That's the best part of sex — not just receiving physical pleasure, but enjoying his.

The bark digs into her palms, and she flexes her fingers, trying to give her hands a break, even as she arches into his touch, making soft sounds of enjoyment.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He knows the tree-bark isn't a forgiving texture. He could tie her hands with his belt, but she's never gone for that type of play, and it's not her immobility he's interested in. Just her acquiescence, her trust. Slinging one arm around her, he keeps her close, so her weight is distributed more comfortably, pressure concentrated on that hot point of contact where his thigh nudges between her legs. Coasting a palm along the hem of her blouse, he peels it up until it's bunched above her breasts. Loving the sight she makes, throat a taut thrilling line down to the bandages of her sarashi, and that gorgeous bounty it restrains. ]

[ Still, he doesn't rush right into things they way he used to. He's learnt that a slow burn generates just as much heat as a flash-fire -- more, if you stoke it right. He strokes her swathed breasts, pinching them firmly now and then, and kisses her until he can feel the jitteriness in her gusting breaths, feel her nipples growing harder. Nuzzling her ribs, her belly, he descends to his knees, cradling her body with widespread palms. Fits himself at the juncture of her thighs, rubbing his face against her crotch. His hard forehead presses her zipper into her slit, before he mouths her through the thick material, scraping his teeth along it so the thick seam is pressed against her clit. ]

[anatural]

Mmmm! [He's such a tease. Korra squirms and wishes she could grab onto him. Or wrap her legs around him. Do something. Or at the very least, let her arms down. She's strong enough to maintain this position for as long as she has to, but that doesn't make it comfortable. This is essentially a torture position, after all.]

I know you told me not to move... but could I put my arms down?

[She wriggles enticingly, offering him an incentive to be merciful.]