things left unsaid

[electric_lady]

WHO: Asami & Hei
WHAT: Hei's return throws Asami's world into chaos.

[Days pass, and Mako's words still echo in her thoughts: Li’s alive. With every echo, Asami wishes that hearts were as simple as machines.

She's happy for Korra. Korra and Li — Hei, though Asami's the only one of their group to know that — have been together for almost as long as Asami's known them. And she likes Hei. She'd been suspicious of him once, when that dorky facade of his started slipping, but his devotion to Korra had been unquestionable. Asami appreciated that about him, even envied it a little. She's never inspired that kind of loyalty in anyone, not even her own father. So she's happy for her friend. Truly.

She's also heartbroken, a fact which is as surprising as Hei being alive. His return means the end of the sweet, secret relationship between her and Korra. Not a romantic one — they're friends who share intimacies. But Asami hadn't realized just how much she's come to depend on those intimacies until now.

She wishes Korra would call. They need to talk about what's going to happen between them, what's going on with Hei, whether she's going to tell him. She refuses to let this relationship end like the one with Mako; she needs clarity. At the same time, she understands why it would slip Korra's mind. Of course she's preoccupied with Hei's return. That kind of shock would knock the ground out from under anyone's feet.

When she ends up on Korra's front porch, it's not because she intended to be there. Asami had overseen the loading of some new products at the dock, and instead of going home, her footsteps took her to Korra's place. Korra and Hei's place.

Taking a deep breath, she knocks.]

Comments

[mortemscintilla]

I'm flattered.

[ Hei keeps her cradled close, making a heavy circle with his arms, hands linked at her belly like the clasp of a necklace. Their bodies are dappled by the evening sun that filters through the stirring leaves. He can hear the caws and flutterings of birds in the trees. Eyes drooping half-shut, he forces away his kneejerk urge to stay alert. In the heated water, with Korra all warm and deliciously drowsing against his chest, he almost feels content, his thoughts no longer the antic loop of a racetrack, but like glossy stones skipping across a stream. ]

[ Out in space, his mind had always felt cramped, ideas drifting in ghostly after-images of perfect darkness. But here, he understands that all the light in his mind -- and there is a lot -- is because of Korra. God, she's done so much -- not just saved this world over and over, sacrificed and suffered -- but in the midst of all that she'd infused his vacant life with the bright currents of purpose: a muse, a fuel. He's scared of losing that -- or being unequal to it after three years away. But he's felt worse fears before, and should it matter if this one gets big and threatens to sink him down? He's never let it drown him. And yet... ]

[ Quietly, ]

Doesn't it... disturb you? Me coming back like this? It seems to disturb your friends.

[anatural]

Of course it doesn't. [That's not a complete answer to his question. She takes her time considering the rest of her response.]

It's strange. It changes everything, and that's a lot to adjust to. But mostly I'm happy. [She looks up at him.] Just because my life didn't stop doesn't mean you no longer have a place in it.

[mortemscintilla]

[ At her words, there's a faltering in his expression, but it's brief (and, perhaps, only noticeable because of the way they hold each other so close. Especially these days). It's a strange, fleeting thing -- hope, doubt. Her assurances are always so sweetly matter-of-fact. She could say them, and variations on them, over and over, and part of him will leap at the words, because he is so very far from being tired of them or her, because he wants so badly to believe things will be okay. ]

[ But they don't mend this horrid little hole that mars his confidence like a cigarette burn. He's too schooled in bitterness and disappointment to expect anything better. ]

[ After a beat, he lets off a rueful exhale, the sound dampened only by the way he noses into the crook of her neck, a wave of her dark hair tickling over his cheek. ]

It's been years since I've had a place anywhere. [ Just an expendable tool for the Syndicate. Just a passing ghost in the City's waiting-room. ] That's the problem. When I start to belong, feel happy, I get ... scared. [ The huff he lets off is too acrimonious to be a laugh. ] It's easier to be alone. Out of place. I've made a career of that.

[ The words emerge on a sour bolus he has to swallow down. At least he is talking. His way is usually sealed lips and bottled-up emotions. To go with the fists-and-fury option. Or, failing that, the brush-my-teeth-with-a-bottle-of-Jack option. ]

[anatural]

[When their affair first started, korra wouldn't have understood his feelings. Now she understands them all too well.]

There's no point in worrying about things that are outside of your control. [But no judgement that he does. She still does too. Everyone does. It's hard to give up the illusion of control.]

Besides, we've survived the City, several world-ending disasters, multiple forced separations... I mean, you basically came back from the dead. I think the odds are in our favor.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei can't help the small, exhausted smile that hangs on the corners of his mouth. Her voice has that sweet, invincible certainty that demands the ear bend and listen, however unwillingly. He wishes he could share her confidence. Wishes he could soften, and laugh, and take her in his arms, tell her there's never been anyone like her, and know it's going to be all right. ]

[ But he also knows that airy, unanimous contentment won't last. Anxiety plucks constantly at his nerves; part of the reason he won't eat is because he's almost trying to starve it out. Maybe this is what love has done to him: turned him into this needy, hungry, insecure thing, a mess of desires and neurosis. ]

[ I was always that mess, he thinks with wry disgust. Hard to admit that love has only brought those oh-so-attractive qualities closer to the forefront. But self-awareness is trying to surface, pounding at the underside of consciousness like a drowning child trapped beneath a sheet of ice. It's impossible to ignore it. ]

[ Lightly, he kisses the spot just below Korra's ear, where her short-cut hair doesn't quite cover the sensitive skin of her nape. ]

The odds are never that kind. [ There is humor, tucked away in the sound of his exhale. ] But it's refreshing that you believe that.

[anatural]

[Korra rolls her eyes.] Condescending as ever. [It's a little annoying, but also amusing, and perhaps in a strange way reassuring. Some things never change.

She wriggles out of his arms so she can straddle his lap, face to face, her breasts pressing against his chest as she leans in to kiss him.]

We'll just have to wait and see which of us is right. [Now stop obsessing over stupid things and touch her.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ No, some things never change. Playing the role of the shiny-eyed believer doesn't come easy to Hei. Especially when he'd spent the last decade honing his cynicism. But that's why they made method acting, right? The trick is to fake it until you feel it. Anyway, he reminds himself viciously. If he is to stop being a fucking idiot, now is the time. He's back where he's supposed to be, plopped amidst the absurdly rich life he'd somehow appropriated for himself when he knew he didn't deserve it. Loved by this wonderful, powerful woman, fighting at her side, hearing all her confidences, and enjoying her charms, while himself remaining free of the Syndicate, his talents untrammeled, his path unfettered. ]

[ It doesn't seem real. That's the problem. Loss and misfortune are the natural sequence of his life. What does he know about recognizing happiness offered to him? He who, all through his existence, has taught himself to coast only on the narrow edge of expedience? ]

[ You're choosing to suffer just for the sake of suffering. Isn't that what Pai had said? ]

[ He doesn't want to think of Pai right now. Korra flows against him, and the sweet friction-y slide of her skin, the satisfying drape of her, takes his breath away. He can never get over how easy physical intimacy is in the water. Everything is more buoyant; if they move towards each other they are together so suddenly that there is nothing to do about it but accept. ]

[ So he does, trapping her in the wishbone of his arms, his mouth nudging against hers with a soft insistent pressure. The kiss is melting-hot, as if he's swallowed a mouthful of mocha; its heat pools pleasantly in his stomach while a different kind of warmth settles deep within his bones. ]

[anatural]

[Korra's been spending a lot of time in the spirit world these past three years, and it's taught her that what you feel defines what is real. You create the world by how you approach it. Spend your time terrified that you'll lose something, and you will lose it. Focus on its presence in your life now, and even if you lose it, you won't have wasted a moment.

She doesn't want to waste a moment on worry. She wraps her arms around his neck as she returns his kisses, warm and relaxed, never letting the energy ramp up. She's not going to let them rush to the fucking.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Her languor gives him difficulties. He's so used to everything spilling into a heated rush between them; her patient kisses and the hot water don't diffuse his tension, but stir him up instead, sending a wave of blood surging from his limbs to his groin, where his erection twitches sluggishly against her belly. ]

[ Humming into the kiss, he gives a lazy, friction-hindered thrust -- part experiment, part plea. Slides his hands along her ribs, up underneath her arms, across traps and deltoids, up over pretty, straight collarbones and then down to those fascinatingly heavy breasts. In the water, they are entirely unabused by gravity. He palms them, kneads them, circles inward. Thumbs the nipples, their color seeming to darken to a mouth-watering crinkled russet in the distorted rays of water-light. ]

[ Breaking the kiss, he gnaws the crook of her neck, a moist slide of lips, a soft burn of stubble. Nuzzles the tops of her breasts, and when his gaze flicks up at her, the lashes making jagged crowns of shadow in the dying sunlight, it's with a certain kind of -- not stillness, not just contentment. ]

[ Happiness, maybe. ]

Any requests?

[ Anything Asami did or didn't do for you. It's not a matter of competition or jealousy. Just gauging if she's up for anything new. ]

[anatural]

Mmmmm. [She'll never get tired of the way his fingers feel on her skin — how his callouses create an electric friction; how his hands are the perfect size to hold her breasts. She leans back a little to give him better access.

Any requests? he asks, and while it's a fairly standard question for him, it reminds her of Asami. Talking about sex had been a huge part of their foreplay: working themselves up by discussing in great detail what they wanted to do to each other.]

Just take your time. [She runs her fingers through his hair. Other than that, she doesn't care. She's certainly not against doing something new.]

[mortemscintilla]

I can do that.

[ The tone is low, absent, but with a scratchy rasp to the syllables -- gravel and smoke. His palms make a warm frame of her breasts. He strokes them, squeezes them, slaps them very lightly back and forth, delighting in the plump elasticity of her skin, their shivering weight so lewdly sweet. Dips his head, his hair a soft ticklish drag, and gently gulps one nipple into his mouth, feeding on it as if it's an addiction in the making. ]

[ In a secret alcove of his mind, he wonders what she and Asami had done together. To the extent he's ever thought about what Asami would be like in bed, he'd imagined it all shy melting fluttery kisses and gentle little gasps. But that wouldn't captivate Korra's interest for long. Especially not with all her zesty energy. There had to be something spicier, raunchier, to Asami than that. ]

[ Curiosity -- and something darker -- goes through him with a blossoming red-hot heat. His hard teeth sink into the tender bud of her nipple. With his left hand, he anchors her lower-back, palm splayed across her buttocks. With the right, he wedges his fingers between them, cupping her mons, the thumb teasing her seam through soft curls, rimming round and around, grazing her clit only in idle increments. ]

[anatural]

[If only that alcove wasn't quite so secret. Korra's not as inclined to jealousy & insecurity as she used to be. She knows he loves her, and he's proven time & again that he will always come back to her; he won't abandon her when she needs him. She might be miffed if he expressed sexual interest in a total stranger, but Asami... Korra wouldn't mind sharing Asami with him, or him with Asami. She'd get to have the best of all worlds.

But the idea wouldn't occur to her on her own; she's too habitually monogamous. Someone else would have to plant the seed of it. She lets out a soft moan and rocks against his hand, trying to increase the pressure.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei isn't sure he's entirely devoid of resentment, at the idea of sharing her. He's not prone to explosive displays of jealousy. But he is possessive by nature. Any physical contact with Korra is as much his way of marking territory as it is about any demonstration of sentiment. Whether on the frontline or off, his mind still functions in terms of battle and defense. (Yet, a wry voice, curled at the back of his mind, tells him to afford the curiosity a little leverage, to take a risk and explore where a threesome might lead them. It could be a disaster, sure. But it could also be an eye-opener, watching how Korra is with someone different.) ]

[ Then Korra moans, breathy and pleading, and his brain goes bluescreen. ]

[ Clasping her wrists roughly in his hands, he lifts both her palms up to cradle her own breasts, pushing them together, presenting them to him to feed on. Roots greedily from one nipple to the other, sharp scrapes of teeth and the slick friction of tongue, teasing them into stiff points of near-aching hardness. Under the water, he traces the wet inside of her thigh, before grasping her sex again. His finger sinks in a fraction of an inch into pillowy slickness, not enough, slow circles pushing to open her wider and wider, the friction like a liquor-doused fingertip tracing the rim of a wineglass, the rough pad of his thumb rubbing across her clit -- right before those same fingers pry her wide apart, pinching with playful cruelty at the twitching nub, a soft repeated pressure that edges on relentless. ]

[anatural]

[Korra cries out, as much from the hot water filling up the empty space inside her as his fingers. She rocks against his hand and roughly fondling her breasts, fuill of building energy that needs somewhere to go.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He can tell when she starts climbing, her cries melting into that particular pitch, a bittersweet stuttering ache. Of his own accord, he stops. Withdraws his hand, and lets her nipple pop free from his gorging mouth, before collecting the thrumming, slippery-wet heap of her into his arms. Carefully, he sets her on one of the mossy, smooth-scrubbed boulders that ring the pool. Once he settles back into the water, up to his armpits, her sex is just the right angle for him to press his mouth to. ]

[ Lazily, Hei lips and nuzzles along the top of her wet pubic hair. Opens his mouth and breathes out, softly, as if he is fogging a glass to draw on with his finger. Strokes his hands up Korra's thighs, warming the skin, setting atoms jostling. Inviting her, through touch, to open herself a little more, before he tips his chin to regard her, with the barest trace of a smile. ]

Put your hands between your legs. Open yourself up for me.

[ Here and there around the pool, shrubs protrude from the soil, their branches clad with bright-red bunches of berries as pretty as Christmas tree ornaments. They're edible, non-toxic; on several occasions, Hei has picked the ones sprouting around the Beach House to garnish desserts. But right now, he's interested in a different sort of garnishing. ]

[anatural]

[She shivers and whimpers in protest as he stops and takes her out of the nice hot water into the cool air, which feels freezing in comparison. Freezing, and somehow more exposed than in the water, which at least provided some cover. If anybody walked in on them right now, they would see absolutely everything of her.

That idea doesn't bother her.

She uses her firebending to warm herself up before doing as requested.]

What are you doing?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei doesn't answer her. At least not verbally. ]

[ Plucking a bright morsel from the nearest branch, he pulls off the stem, then swirls it through the water to wash away any debris. Pops it into his mouth, warming the chilly outer-skin, before he reaches down, delicately parting the slick folds of her labia with the fingers of one hand. With the other, he lets the cool, slightly bumpy texture of the fruit tease her, circle her, before he pushes it in, leaving just the shockingly red tip of it peeking out from inside her. ]

[ Satisfied, he rests a moment on his elbows between her spread thighs, combing meditative fingers through the wet corkscrews of curls, smoothing them outward, away from the dark pink, mouth-watering folds of labia, the prominent clitoral hood, and the lewdly enchanting pooch of the berry, all glossy red and pink skin and lush curves. ]

[ Several expressions dart across his face, too quick to follow, before he settles on a small, wry-edged smile. ]

I guess... I'm hungry after all.

[anatural]

I told you you should eat. [She smiles and kicks him gently. She can't help wiggling a little as well, exploring the way the berries feel inside her. There's a faint burning sensation that makes her skin flush...]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei watches the flush of red spreading across her skin, the sight of her so prettily dizzying that he can feel something rioting in his chest, sending blood crashing through him, toes to groin to scalp. (It doesn't occur to him, just yet, that it might be an allergic reaction.) He's too busy leaning in to nuzzle between her splayed legs, soft moist lips surrounded by prickly-sharp bristles. He rubs the cool rounds of her knees idly as he tongues the slick parameters of her labia, before covering it with his mouth to suck on the fruit. So bitingly tart, with that saltine, buttery aftertaste underneath that's all Korra. Humming, he takes a small bite, letting it roll around in his mouth a moment. Enjoying the contrasting flavors that he'd normally never appreciate if he were seated at the dining table. ]

[ Then he pauses, a faint frown creasing his forehead as he regards the reddening furl of her sex. ]

...Everything feel okay down there?

[anatural]

[Korra's absurdly glad he asks. The burn had started out delicious, but the more he worked her up, the more it veered towards the un-sexy side of painful. Not enough to stop him, but if he's going to ask...]

It kind of burns a little.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Burning? Fuck -- that doesn't sound good. Lowering his head, he takes another large bite from the berry, then finally sucks what is left out of her and into his mouth -- more efficient than leisurely. Her whole vulva is dark and full and shiny, like an overripe fruit someone split in two with their thumbs. All the reassuring signs of arousal, except the creeping red flush makes her seem tender, rubbed raw. ]

[ Experimentally, he traces the pooch of her inner-lips with his forefinger. ]

You want to stop?

[anatural]

[His touch makes her shiver, half-pain, half-pleasure.]

No. [She's still plenty worked up, and the idea of stopping before she comes is unthinkable. She reaches out to grab his hair and tug him closer.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Tentatively, Hei bends his head back to his task. He's unsure if she's developing the symptoms of an allergy or an infection. But at the rate things are going, chances of his getting a leg-over are slim to none. But leaving her hanging doesn't seem right either. Especially when it was his bright idea to stick that damn berry up her notch in the first place. ]

[ And right now, there is really nothing else he knows that is such an intense sensory experience: the heady, tidal smell of her, his nose right there, up close, juices on his chin. Humming, he licks a long, broad stripe from perineum to clit. Strokes the pads of his thumbs down the soft, pillowy skin on either side of it, laving his tongue on the slippery topography underneath, slow concentric whorls. All the while, he watches her face, half-lidded eyes hazy but somehow cautious, testing her thresholds for not-enough-ness versus too-much-ness. ]

[anatural]

[Oh Hei, never underestimate Korra's love for a good pounding. It'd take a lot more discomfort than this to make her say "no thanks" to sex. Besides, while the itching/burning sensation is still there, it's gone down quite a bit with the berry gone, and he's giving her a lot more pleasant things to think about.

Her climax takes her by surprise, not so much because it's abrupt as because it's so soft. A trembling release that's more like a sigh of relief than earth-shattering, mind-blowing pleasure.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei always feels it in that weeping-wet mouth of her sex, first -- a certain delectable sloppiness under his tongue -- and then the way her breath unravels and her whole body begins to shake, from the fluttering tremors of her sex to the jolting spasms that race from her hips to her whole torso. There is no purer sweetness than watching it happen. ]

[ He keeps his mouth wet and messily busy between her legs as she trembles beneath him. A deep pulsing ache rolls inside his balls and teases the length of his wet-tipped cock; the only thing that stops him from exploding in response is a strange, heartbreaking poignancy to the way she falls apart. She doesn't flail or scream like always; it is intensely helpless instead -- that series of soft, moth-like shudders. It makes him feel so responsible and yet, it does nothing to decrease his desire. ]

[ Waiting until he is certain the last shiver is past, he breaks away. Rears on all fours against her to kiss her mouth, her upper lip, getting the tart taste and smell of her under her nose, then drags himself down to nuzzle the pulse jumping at Korra's neck. ]

...Okay?