mortemscintilla: ∅ Who looks so all alone (Hei - At A Glance)
[personal profile] mortemscintilla posting in [community profile] fuse_box
WHO: Korra and Hei
WHAT: Korra gets a front-row seat into Hei's dreams. Specifically his relationship with Amber.


[ Anger burning under the surface of his skin, clouding everything around him, Hei had stormed off after wrenching his photos away from Korra. He hadn't stopped to consider if the photos were loaded with a special brand of City-magic. Hadn't realized that after she'd touched them, memory-fragments had clung to her fingertips like ragweed pollen. Seeping into her pores, germinating day by day. ]

[ And of course he had no way of knowing what she'd dream of, several nights later. Or that the dreams wouldn't be hers. ]

[ Like most of his dreams, it's a vivid one. A forest unfurling like a dark green sea. Autofire and muzzle flash color the night. Tree stalks and bones shatter with hot plashes of fluid. The air is heavy with a shrill sound and scent that is somehow primal, hostile, terrified. It is like being enveloped in blood. ]

[ Everywhere, there are bodies. Acres upon acres of them, piled atop one another like split logs. Armless, legless, headless corpses, fields of little rag dolls pulled apart, liquid, stuffed with streaming redness, flowing out and away. Hei's, Pai's, and Carmine's handiwork. The result of a successful night-raid. From the corner of his eye, Hei glimpses a Contractor, one of Amber's squad, drifting through the blazing camp with the flayed corpse of a girl draped around his shoulders. The girl’s skinless body shimmers, blood-glazed tissue reflecting firelight the way moon rays reflect off a placid lake's surface. The Contractor is whistling, dreamy-eyed. ]

[ Hei isn't sure if that's his Obeisance -- or if the man is insane. He doesn't care. The war is like that: it gets inside you, under your skin and into your bloodstream, plants roots in your heart and mind and soul. You surrender to its cruelty as a matter of survival. ]

[ A starburst of light. Another memory -- one that makes his nerves jump. Pale skin and a curl of parted lips. Green hair tangled across a red uniform. He feels the humidity of the Brazilian forest, hears buzzing mosquitoes, sees gossamer netting. It's nothing compared to the global warming between Amber's thighs, the clamor in his head, his thoughts tissuey, friable, as he arches over her. Wait… hold on, Hei. Scrambling around in her pockets. Taking out a swiss army knife, extending the nail clippers. She giggles, Your fingernails are like knives. He gives her his hand and she trims his nails. Then files them down smooth. Her voice, singy-songy, Don't need a female circumcision. When she finishes the strange manicure, she eases his hand back between her legs. ]

[ Ohhhh. Her soft cry tastes like butterscotch against his hungry mouth. ]

[ Little details pinwheel through Hei's brain. The way her pulse flutters when he curls his fingers around her throat. How her hair feels like a wash of green seafoam as she bends her head, taking him with such gorgeous smoothness into the cool-hot vacuum of her mouth. The taste of her on his tongue, tart and rimey yet somewhow sweet, like biting into a dripping peach. How, each time, he has to fuck her with his eyes closed -- because the way she looks, lying beneath him, flushed and gasping, wisps of that pale hair sweat-plastered to her body, she is hypnotic, and he knows he can lose himself in gazing at her, lose the urgent rhythm of his cock in her slick wet sex. ]

[ Burying his face in the hollow of her neck, inhaling her cordite-and-mint scent, Hei drifts -- in the cradle of his dream-body, yet outside of himself, watching from a great distance of space and time. 
It was always a struggle, he remembers, to control himself with Amber. But she'd sense that; brace her hands on his shoulders and ease the shakes out of him, coaxing him with her voice and body and kisses to take it slow. He only had to listen to her and obey. He'd sometimes 
wonder what she was thinking in those moments. Part of her, maybe the deepest part, was always locked off -- even when they were that close. Maybe it was because she knew things about the future that he'd never be able to grasp. She had purposes -- for him, for Pai, for herself -- that Hei couldn't even imagine. ]

[ He remembers other things too -- less important, yet somehow more precious to him. The way Amber could be so hard to please, a kakuru puzzle in equal parts tantalizing and mystifying -- but when he got it right, it was like cracking the vault to something blissful: her skin filming like melted butter under his lips as if she were running a fever or a marathon, her wordless mewling cry as she came apart, a wavering song that melted into a scream. ]

[ Nights in the jungle, blackness so absolute it becomes a living entity, Hei remembers those stolen moments with her as a respite from everything. Being with Amber made the brutal truths of the war bearable. When she held him, he believed, however briefly, that there were no such things as hatred, or cruelty, or pain. And when she kissed him, he thought he'd never want to kiss anyone else again, ever. ]

[ Except he should've known -- even then (especially then) -- that Amber was mapping out the starchart of a different future for him.  Everything they'd shared -- at a depth and breadth both thrilling and terrifying. But it was never enough. Especially in the wake of war and politics, carnage and tragedy. Two people could never share the same psyche. ]

[ Afterwards, he remembers, Amber would always let out a jittery sigh -- satisfied, yet somehow wistful. That was nice. You're always such a quick study, Hei. A girl appreciates that. ]


[ A girl appreciates that.
It was as if she was giving him advice for down the line, when he'd find himself years and miles away from her, in bed with someone else. Knowing Amber, she probably was. ]

Date: 2014-11-08 07:37 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra's eyes go wide with fear (Scared: Oh no)
From: [personal profile] anatural
I'm sorry! [His grip is too tight for her to break out, but she shifts so that she can defend herself in other ways if she has to. Her body feels sluggish, almost unresponsive. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!] I thought you'd like it! [He liked it in her dreams! Or he liked doing it, which she thought would translate into liking receiving it. But she was wrong and she's scared she'll have to fight him.]

Date: 2014-11-08 09:13 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra looks pleadingly (Sad: I don't understand)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[He lets go and Korra immediately moves away herself. She's not going to let herself remain trapped against a wall when his temper is so volatile.]

I won't do it again. I'm sorry. [She doesn't know what else to say or do to make it right with him. He's not forgiving like Chekov or Bolin. He doesn't have issues; he has bombs inside him; those don't just un-explode because you apologize.]

Date: 2014-11-08 09:59 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra looks angry (Angry: What the shit)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[I saw you do it in a dream. Lots of dreams. Like she would ever in five million years tell him that. He flew off the handle because she saw some stupid pictures of his; there's no way he wouldn't completely lose it knowing she had seen his memories in dreams. It wouldn't matter that she didn't ask for it, that the City has been forcing her to watch this night after night after night. You can't reason with bombs.

She doesn't stay abject for long. As terrifying as his temper can be, it's not in Korra's nature to cower. Her response isn't angry, but there's more than a dash of spitfire in it.]


I thought it was the kind of thing you were into. Clearly I was wrong. [She's been wrong a lot this evening. The one right idea she'd had was going home. In fact, she's going to get back on the right idea train now and start walking.]

Date: 2014-11-08 10:34 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra fights angry tears (Angry: I will not cry)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[The way she stiffens, stops, tells him everything.]

It's just something I saw. What does it matter?

Date: 2014-11-08 10:59 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra angrily grabs a man's chin (Annoyed: I've got my eye on you)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[Fuck.]

Don't talk like a crazy person!

[She's walking again, hoping against hope that he'll just let her go. She doesn't want to deal with him and his rage, not ever but certainly not in her current state. You seriously fucked up, Korra. This entire night has been one giant catastrophe. But the recriminations can wait until she's home and something that resembles safe.]

Date: 2014-11-08 11:31 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra looks sad and scared (Sad: A deep dread)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[She's shocked by how young he looks. How scared. If he'd been angry or threatening, she would've kept trying to lie, but the raw emotion in his face knocks the air out of her lungs.]

Nothing! Just sex! [Which is, in fact, the exact opposite of nothing. Good job, Korra.] I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, after the picture curse. I thought they were just dirty dreams.

Date: 2014-11-09 12:22 am (UTC)
anatural: Korra looks out over Republic City (sad 20)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[Korra knows that her answer isn't going to be the one he wants. And not because there isn't an answer he wants. She knows from those pictures, from those dreams, just how important the green-haired woman was to him. She can well imagine how terrible it would feel, having precious memories shared against your will to people you hardly care about.

Her eyes quickly, subtly scan the area around them, looking for exits and weapons she can use if she has to, before she says quietly:]


The woman from your pictures. With the green hair.

Date: 2014-11-09 01:14 am (UTC)
anatural: Korra shrugs in confusion (Confused: I don't get it)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[That...was not the reaction Korra expected. It's such a pedestrian response, completely ridiculous in the face of the City's madness.]

Since when has anyone been able to stop a curse? Unless you know who made it so curses don't reach the Underground.

[Wait. There's an idea there. A possible solution... maybe... It's teasing the edges of her understanding, but her mind is too addled by exhaustion and liquor and fear and residual lust to catch it.]

Date: 2014-11-09 02:08 am (UTC)
anatural: Korra faces away, looking badass (Badass: I will rise above)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[Oh, that was her idea! And a pretty good one too, except now that it's out in the air, she can see the flaws.]

I can't just hole up in some random dump down here. Jinora and Bei Fong need me. [Or at the very least, they'll worry and ask questions that Korra doesn't want to answer.]

Date: 2014-11-09 03:00 am (UTC)
anatural: Korra looks sad and jealous (Sad: A little green)
From: [personal profile] anatural
...........fine. [She doesn't say it with particularly good grace, but she pulls out her device and sends a quick message to Jinora to let her know. She hates being exiled down here. Who's to say it'll even work? Even if it does stop the curse dreams, what if her mind just replays the dreams she's already had. She feels helpless. Hopeless. Frustrated in more ways than one. She wraps her arms around herself to hold it together.]

Date: 2014-11-09 04:08 am (UTC)
anatural: Korra scowls and looks to the right (Annoyed: I live in a prison)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[She rolls her eyes, in absolutely no mood to be gracious.]

Pretty sure I can handle sleeping alone in a bedroom. I've done it since I was six. [Not entirely true -- for most of those years she slept with Naga nearby -- but true enough for their purposes. She doesn't need to be babysat. And she'd really rather not be around him right now. He pretty clearly doesn't want too be around her. (Not that she can really blame him.)]

Date: 2014-11-09 06:49 pm (UTC)
anatural: Korra and Naga sit alone (sad naga)
From: [personal profile] anatural
[She's tempted to say Sure, whatever, but what comes out instead is]

Don't take too long.

[She hates being trapped waiting.]

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