[ Hei isn't sure what to make of the question. Maybe she expects he'd only dropped in for a visit. That he's comfortably situated with Stafleet now, an unexpected guest dropped into her world --but soon to be gone, because the frames of reference between them have shrunk so completely in three years, because she can't imagine their lives juxtaposed anymore. ]
[ Except her gaze is so blindingly bright. So hopeful. It is the first time since his arrival that it imparts a frission of homecoming, makes Hei feel like she's really welcoming him. Like she wants him to stay. ]
[ He could be wrong. If he is, it'll hurt but -- that's how life goes. ]
[ He wants to reach out for her. But she looks so fucking beautiful, here in the sunlight pouring into the room like melting butter, so close and redolent of thousands of those salty, sweet, soupy scents that twine his attention into a hard ball of want, that he can't trust himself. ]
[ So he swallows, his fingers deceptively light as they curl around his cup. Murmurs, without quite looking at her, ]
Starfleet ... was never where I wanted to be.
[ It was here, with you. The stars in space were never a temptation to stay away. Never the centerpiece of his desires. During his travels, they were just a palliative. A glittering compensation. Maybe as a boy, he'd have given anything to be where Chekov is. But he hasn't been that boy in years. ]
no subject
[ Except her gaze is so blindingly bright. So hopeful. It is the first time since his arrival that it imparts a frission of homecoming, makes Hei feel like she's really welcoming him. Like she wants him to stay. ]
[ He could be wrong. If he is, it'll hurt but -- that's how life goes. ]
[ He wants to reach out for her. But she looks so fucking beautiful, here in the sunlight pouring into the room like melting butter, so close and redolent of thousands of those salty, sweet, soupy scents that twine his attention into a hard ball of want, that he can't trust himself. ]
[ So he swallows, his fingers deceptively light as they curl around his cup. Murmurs, without quite looking at her, ]
Starfleet ... was never where I wanted to be.
[ It was here, with you. The stars in space were never a temptation to stay away. Never the centerpiece of his desires. During his travels, they were just a palliative. A glittering compensation. Maybe as a boy, he'd have given anything to be where Chekov is. But he hasn't been that boy in years. ]