[ It still amazes Hei sometimes, knowing she's let go of reticences he hadn't realized she still cherished, laying herself open to him in new ways. Letting herself be, at least in bed, submissive -- but in no way subservient. It makes his pulse, his breath, flutter in his chest, as if birds are spreading their wings inside him -- even as part of him feels constrained by the heavy anchors of that trust. He hasn't earned it; he certainly doesn't feel equal to it. ]
[ But he tries, in small ways, to meet its expectations. He hasn't been deeply involved with many women, and among them, only Amber really knew about, and accepted, what he is only just beginning to refer to as his past. He looks at Korra sometimes, and he thinks of that saying -- about repeating past mistakes. Fall for the wrong person, get too close, too codependent, fuck everything up. It's a been-there, done-that dance. Except it's not the same. Korra's not Amber, and he's ... not even him. Not the person he was. The intimacies he shares with Korra come from unexpected places within him, places that didn't exist when he was seventeen. Aspects of his mind and his body that by long habit he's learnt to conceal ferociously and that he concedes now only slowly, cautiously, with a dubious hope. ]
[ He looks at her sometimes, and it's ... It's like his mind is groping for words. ]
[ It's like his life is rewiring itself. ]
[ He can't tell her any of that. Doesn't know how. So instead he kisses her, slow, tongue-tracing sips of kisses. His palm dips lower between her thighs, the heel a soft relentless pressure on her clit while he dips two fingers into her entrance. Curling, crooking, instantly slicked, as he drags them across the roof of her sex, teasing that spongy little sweet-spot of hers. ]
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Date: 2014-11-23 10:26 pm (UTC)[ But he tries, in small ways, to meet its expectations. He hasn't been deeply involved with many women, and among them, only Amber really knew about, and accepted, what he is only just beginning to refer to as his past. He looks at Korra sometimes, and he thinks of that saying -- about repeating past mistakes. Fall for the wrong person, get too close, too codependent, fuck everything up. It's a been-there, done-that dance. Except it's not the same. Korra's not Amber, and he's ... not even him. Not the person he was. The intimacies he shares with Korra come from unexpected places within him, places that didn't exist when he was seventeen. Aspects of his mind and his body that by long habit he's learnt to conceal ferociously and that he concedes now only slowly, cautiously, with a dubious hope. ]
[ He looks at her sometimes, and it's ... It's like his mind is groping for words. ]
[ It's like his life is rewiring itself. ]
[ He can't tell her any of that. Doesn't know how. So instead he kisses her, slow, tongue-tracing sips of kisses. His palm dips lower between her thighs, the heel a soft relentless pressure on her clit while he dips two fingers into her entrance. Curling, crooking, instantly slicked, as he drags them across the roof of her sex, teasing that spongy little sweet-spot of hers. ]