[ Hei frowns, as if he doesn't know what to make of this. Maybe he is just surprised to hear her use an adjective of three syllables. Maybe he is a heartbeat away from correcting her pronunciation. Or maybe ... Maybe he is taken aback by the idea that Korra would believe he finds her revolting. Nothing is further from the truth. ]
[ A strange sadness suffuses him, mingling with his anger, diluting it. If she knew the truth of what he was -- his blood-soaked profession -- she'd never waste time seeking his attention. She'd run for the fucking hills. And Hei, with all his sharp-toothed awareness of the truth, should know better than to keep stringing her along. She is off-limits to the likes of him. Except ... it is hard to care, because Korra's longing for him is palpable, and it is nearly too much, to be desired that way. To be seen as -- well, not a decent human being, but sentient, and capable of feeling pain, and deserving of warmth. ]
[ Maybe he likes the mirror of himself in her big innocent eyes. The illusion that he can be almost human -- because he's dealt in illusions so long, it's inevitable that he loses himself in those accumulated lies. Or maybe... Maybe he's simply enthralled by her the way a deep-sea creature at the bonecracking depths of black water is enthralled by a glimmer of sunlight. Not realizing that if he breaks the surface, abandons the permafrosted darkness he's accustomed to, he'll melt and die. Nothing from the deep-sea survives in sunshine. ]
[ Forever alone. That's how it fucking should be, because Korra is a pretty fluke of brightness in the dimensionless black he inhabits. Yet he can't turn away from her. ]
[ Quietly, without glancing her way, he says, ]
Nothing you do [ Nothing you could be ] could possibly revolt me.
[ His rancor stems from nothing but the atmosphere in his own head -- lightning-jags and flashfloods he can't control, and which spill out at the worst moments. ]
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Date: 2014-11-07 11:21 pm (UTC)[ A strange sadness suffuses him, mingling with his anger, diluting it. If she knew the truth of what he was -- his blood-soaked profession -- she'd never waste time seeking his attention. She'd run for the fucking hills. And Hei, with all his sharp-toothed awareness of the truth, should know better than to keep stringing her along. She is off-limits to the likes of him. Except ... it is hard to care, because Korra's longing for him is palpable, and it is nearly too much, to be desired that way. To be seen as -- well, not a decent human being, but sentient, and capable of feeling pain, and deserving of warmth. ]
[ Maybe he likes the mirror of himself in her big innocent eyes. The illusion that he can be almost human -- because he's dealt in illusions so long, it's inevitable that he loses himself in those accumulated lies. Or maybe... Maybe he's simply enthralled by her the way a deep-sea creature at the bonecracking depths of black water is enthralled by a glimmer of sunlight. Not realizing that if he breaks the surface, abandons the permafrosted darkness he's accustomed to, he'll melt and die. Nothing from the deep-sea survives in sunshine. ]
[ Forever alone. That's how it fucking should be, because Korra is a pretty fluke of brightness in the dimensionless black he inhabits. Yet he can't turn away from her. ]
[ Quietly, without glancing her way, he says, ]
Nothing you do [ Nothing you could be ] could possibly revolt me.
[ His rancor stems from nothing but the atmosphere in his own head -- lightning-jags and flashfloods he can't control, and which spill out at the worst moments. ]