[ Hei is aware -- abruptly, uncomfortably -- of the currents in the air shifting, the mood darkening. It's like a glow dimming several notches, but not the way dusk envelops the sunshine. More like the stagelights flickering off after a performance, the moment the blatting band falls silent, the collective applause of the audience giving way to the rustle of tumbling curtains, the performers stripping off their colorful costumes and painted visages in a waft of staggering honesty, a human imperfection. It's almost like he's watching something he shouldn't. ]
[ He's so used to using sex as a tool, a smokescreen, a fucking synesthetic metaphor. But he has no idea how to behave when it's just that -- sex. Not the mechanics, but the underlying frailties and intimacies of it. Watching Korra and Mako being all gooey and emotional, he feels like he shouldn't be here. Because against that boy's poignant honesty, his own feelings for Korra -- whatever they are -- seem to ring hollow, inorganic and somehow irrelevant. ]
[ He wants to look away. But he feels the pull of that pretty picture in his bones, a strong current anchoring him to the spot. Dropping a hand, he strips his cock roughly, absently. Watching them, feeling them, but somehow not with them at all. It's a sordid, almost lonely sensation. ]
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Date: 2014-10-27 08:10 pm (UTC)[ He's so used to using sex as a tool, a smokescreen, a fucking synesthetic metaphor. But he has no idea how to behave when it's just that -- sex. Not the mechanics, but the underlying frailties and intimacies of it. Watching Korra and Mako being all gooey and emotional, he feels like he shouldn't be here. Because against that boy's poignant honesty, his own feelings for Korra -- whatever they are -- seem to ring hollow, inorganic and somehow irrelevant. ]
[ He wants to look away. But he feels the pull of that pretty picture in his bones, a strong current anchoring him to the spot. Dropping a hand, he strips his cock roughly, absently. Watching them, feeling them, but somehow not with them at all. It's a sordid, almost lonely sensation. ]